Newly diagnosed, Scared & Confused

Hello everyone,
I am writing from Ireland, I had my smear done a few weeks back and this was the first smear that I have had done that checked for HVP, My very first smear in 2018 didn’t check for HPV, only checked for abnormal cells.

My results came back on Thursday and I have been a nervous wreck ever since. I cannot take my mind off it. It’s consuming me. I tested positive for HPV and have been referred for a colposcopy to check the abnormal cells. I have been with my partner for 5 years and we both are faithful.
I am not naive and I know we both had life’s before each other so maybe that’s where this is coming from.

I just cannot seem to relax. I feel so embarrassed, I feel dirty. My partner could not be more caring and understanding, I am very lucky to have such great support in him. I just can’t seem to shake this. It’s something I don’t hear anyone talking about. I feel alone but I know by joining this site, that I am not. I guess I just wanted to share my feelings and hopefully someone may be able to help me and assure me that my feelings are normal.

I am waiting for my referral appointment, I am 29 and I am praying that it won’t show cancerous cells. I don’t want to ruin my Christmas (and I turn 30 very soon) thinking about this and the never ending “what ifs”.

I am also on the contraceptive pill for years now and I really feel this isn’t helping the whole situation. Has anyone come off their pill after being diagnosed?

Sorry for the long post. It’s been a long night of worry and thoughts :thought_balloon:

Thank you for reading. xx

Hi @NewToThis1

Your feelings are definitely understandable and many can relate to how your feeling, its only been recently we are being told we have tested positive for it so there is still a stigma around it especially as its put in the STD category…

It might help to know that, although it is in that category its not up there with the rest of them, people may not talk about it much but HPV is a very common virus 80% of the population currently has atleast 1 strain of HPV, its spread by close skin to skin contact with the effected body part/object (sex toys etc) and the only reason its classed as an STD is because sexual activity is close skin to skin contact, you dont even need to have penatrative sex to contract it

I cant give advice on the pill i stopped my contraception years before i had abnormalities xx