Suddenly HPV+ In 11.5 Year Relationship

I found out a few weeks ago that I am suddenly HPV positive with thankfully no abnormal cell changes. I can’t even begin to say how upset I’ve been and the rollercoaster of emotions surrounding this.

I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with my fiance for 11.5 years and have always had regular smears, the last one being in 2020. Getting a positive result has made me automatically suspect him of cheating, especially after reading sooooo many stats, mainly 90% of women clear it in 2 years after becoming infected and 70% clear it in 6-12 months after becoming infected.

How can he not have cheated on me with those stats? I am trying to look at it scientifically and I keep coming back to this same issue. He denies any wrong doing (I can’t imagine any man will actually own up lol) and it’s putting a massive strain on the relationship.

I’ve looked into getting a private smear and paying hundreds to see a private gyne to try and figure out when this happened or even if it’s an NHS error somehow. I don’t want to spend money unnecessarily but I feel I am going out of my mind with worry. I have felt dirty and like a leper tbh and I KNOW I shouldn’t feel this way and that it’s a super common thing to get. I totally get that and would be a lot more accepting and philosophical about it if I weren’t in a very long term relationship.

Thanks for reading, ladies, and I am so sorry if you’re in a similar situation x

Heya, I got a postive HRHPV18 result after being with my husband for 8 years. Hes not a cheater, he doesnt have the time and really isnt the type. But i had to ask the question because, like you, how the hell is it possible when I havent been with anyone. The nurses and drs answered that for me… they said that it is quite possible that i contracted it before our relationship and it laid dormant. I too have had clear tests to date. And what totally put an end to any suspicion, he was vacinated against it before we met. (I’ve seen his medical records).
I can imagine what strain this is putting on your relationship… just wanted you to know its not entirely out of the realm of possibilties that he may be telling the truth x

I feel your worry, it is very confusing but i don’t believe it indicates cheating has occurred. I am in similar position with partner of 11 years and got high risk HPV result last year. I have been reading that there are now known links between reduced estrogen during perimenopause and resurgence of HPV from dormancy in our bodies. I am 49 and recently started HRT. Low estrogen can also cause cell changes, without HPV presence. I hope you find this reassuring, as my GP did not know this, or that the virus often comes out of dormancy rather than being a new infection, which would really have helped me and my partner


I am HPV high grade positive and I haven’t had sex for 11 years. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Mine must have been sleeping for a while.

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Hello, I’m the same I’ve not had sex in 12 years, had a smear test in 2022 that came back positive for HPV ( was sent a letter to tell me I need a follow up smear in a years time, well I couldn’t get one at first my Dr’s surgery was only posting appointments weekly?! Ended up having to wait till 5th Jan 2024! )I had no clue how the hell I’d got it! If the low estrogen thing is correct then that might be what woke mine up from its dormant state! As I’ve just turned 42 and have started getting symptoms of being peri-menopauseal, hot flushes- waves of heat, and my forgetfulness has gotten worse, I’m tired all the time and my sleep pattern isn’t great but then it never has been great! I can’t drop off to sleep at night then can’t wake up in the morning, I’ve felt suicidal over the Xmas period too.

So new smear on 5th Jan came back positive with some cell changes so now I’ve got to wait for a letter telling me when my colposcopy appointment is! Scared and worried is an understatement! But online it tells you not to worry, but how can you not worry! My daughter has just been sent the form to have the vaccine at school, I’m going to get her to have it. I’m worried enough for myself but then I’m worried for her too. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. I thought here might be ok?

Getting old sucks!

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Hi olive 10
Welcome to the support forum. I wish you some hugs. Reading other people’s stories has helped me tremendously lately and I have also learned so much. It breaks my heart to hear what happened to myself has also happened to many others. Something has to change with the lack of emotional support we need at times of immense anxiety and worry. My anxiety is through the roof and has been since being informed that I had cancer when I just thought it was cell changes and nothing to worry about. I had a mental breakdown in December and my GP has doubled my dosage of antidepressants. We all need to help and support each other because unless you are or have been in this situation, lack of understanding about how emotionally damaging it is is an understatement from others. Good luck.x

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Im so sorry to hear of your diagnosis 2023 and how it has affected you mentally. Hope you have a treatment plan all sorted alongside mental health support
Do you mind me asking how old you are? I know you said you hadn’t been sexually active in a while and HPV had managed to continue to be active during that time
Seems like a lot of women in early 40s are dealing with this :frowning:

Hi cloverradio. I reached the big 50 last year. Thanks for the support. I have been very active in reaching out for help with mental health and have my 1st counseling meeting scheduled for today. Hooray, been on a waiting list for the past 6 months so to be honest I wasn’t strong enough mentally to cope with everything else that was thrown my way the past 5 months.

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Congratulations on the big 50 and also best wishes for your first appointment today I hope speaking to someone helps
Thank you again for sharing your story x

22 years here… neither of us have cheated although i gave him a hard time at first because your mind runs away with you.

Hi cloverradio
Counseling was amazing, just what I need. The start of a new story, hopefully a better one. Returned home to find a letter from the hospital at last. 2nd lletz results were good I think? Cin 3 & HPV. I now have 6 months to not think about cancer until I go back for the 3rd colposcopy. Dr s are doing a good job at controlling cancer the best they can.

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