Emotional wreck

Well it's been a few weeks since treatment has finished an I am crying at the drip of a hat, my other half can't say he is married to the ice queen anymore more the my eyes won't stop leaking kinda queen lol, so I went to docs an arranged counselling, she thinks I'm angry with the world or rather my situation as I did everything to not be in this situation, I wondered if it was anything to do with menopause starting but she won't commit on that till I have seen the consultant so won't give me anything, she won't recommend any herbal things in case it interferes with the chemo.

Surely there must be something I could take to help stopping my eyes from leaking, any recommendations would be really good, 




hang in there it's not been long since you've finished the treatment 

times can be hard when we're sent away for a few weeks to let the treatment keep working it's a difficult time adjusting from something happening everyday and being the centre of attention to suddenly being left to get on with it 

if your feeling depressed all the time speak to your cns nurse she should be able to arrange some counselling

if you have a good network of friends have a girlie night once a week do each other nails or go for a walk with your husband 

I believe you've gone back to work so imagine you'll be preoccupied in the day time 

as your fitness gradually gets back nows the time to start a new project or something you haven't done to keep you busy a busy mind is an occupied mind 

What you've been through is such a massive ordeal  it knocks the stuffing out of you it does get easier and you do in time start to get your confidence back 

every week brings you nearer to you being back to you 

as for the hot flushes I asked dr pledge at my 6 week review and he got the nurse to give me a leaflet of all the herbal treatments that I could have in the end I went on pure sage capsuals form holland and Barrett i only took 2 a day they did work but don't work for everyone but wait till your check up to ask as that was 2 years ago and things change all the time 

in the meantime seek that counselling if you need it and when you get up every day tell yourself how amazing you are look what you've just accomplished 

stay strong ladies

onwards and upwards

love Michelle xx  

Thanks Michelle, I don't feel depressed it's more of an anger at the situation that I am in as I did everything to not be here, I want answers an don't feel I'm getting anywhere as want to know the results of my audit, I think once I have those answers I can move on.

Everyone thinks I should take time off work but it's only place I forget that I have cancer an carry on as normal, my friends all seem to being conversation back to cancer so don't seem to get away from it 

I'm at Dr pledge clinic on 18th July so will see wot he says hopefully things won't of changed much since u were there 

Hope u r keeping well 


Hi mrs p

im sorry that you have hit a struggle. I'm almost certain that these struggles are caused by the menopause. It's very difficult to control moods when you are dealing with new levels of hormones. The menopause can be very difficult. However, regardless of your new hormone levels a cancer diagnosis and treatment is somthing that is a process. Many say that it will cause the seven stages of grief to move on. You could be experiencing the stage of anger and out focusing that anger on the audit. Be patient with yourself and try to move past this. 

None of us wanted this to happen to us but regardless of how careful we were or not, it did. It's not fair and it sucks ass. accepting that we did indeed have cc and trying to move past it without focusing on the why's can be sooo hard but stay positive and be grateful that you had treatment. Even if you find out the past audits were wrong it will not change what is today.

all the best


lolli is right always amazing advice lolli 

D you have to try to move on we all ask the question why me but will never get that answer unfortunately I tell everyone out of my 4 if anyone was to get cancer id rather it be me than my 3 and also I'm the strongest to deal with it  

I'm sure at your 1st scan results it will be good news and give you some hope so you can move on 

a lot of us have had update smears I even had a healthy life stile before my diagnosis so never ever thought I'd get cervical cancer let alone be palliative

but here I am 2 years on still here ive been through the why me stage it doesnt  get you anywhere since my treatment 2nd time round I take every day as it comes and am thankfull to wake up every morning I don't take anything for granted anymore and go about my daily routine as I'm fitter now than I have been for a long time 

what I'm trying to say is lifes to short you've done the hard bit now it's time to get rid of that anger and love your life I know it's easier said than done 

stay strong and positive 

onwards and upwards 

love Michelle