Sorry about the subject.... but they are an ongoing issue for me.
They remain painful. I have quite a lot of scar tissue, radiation damage and vaginal vault stenosis. I have continous pelvic pain now but the dilators are extremely tender with pain through to the rectum. I have tried different positions. Laying down comfortably, standing in the shower, after exercise, after relaxing but they are still painful. I haven't been able to progress beyond first two sizes, and im lucky if they fit. I use lots of lube. I use them every second day. I'm already on the pill for menopause. The radiation consultant is aware and checked everything out but he said its just changes from the radiation because i had the really high dose.
Any tips to make the whole process less traumatic?
I haven't got past size 2 yet either and am much more comfortable with size 1. Doc said that was fine to continue like that. I actually found the lube made me sore. so I don't use it now. I just get as comfortable as possible on the bed. Put the TV on and just slowly insert, leave it still for a while and then have a little wiggle later.
Thanks Sooze. Its the last inch of the dilators that are the problem. Where the tumour had grown into the wall. I only manage size 2 very occasionally and the size one doesnt fit either sometimes. My consultant wasnt too concerned either. He said just to continue what i can. I tried more frequent, but it just increased the tenderness. Cause the groin pain takes a day to settle after using dilators. Ive spoken with my gp about it, but shes not the best with the gynae stuff. I might try without the lube to see if it helps. Thanks again.
go to a sex toy store and ask for something made with flexible silicone. Explain your situation and they can help you if they are a good legit store. It was very difficult for me to actually do this so I brought a friend with me. The lady was awesome and actually very knowledgeable about these situations. That will help as the dilators are so very hard and not flexible at all. Also, it was recommended to me to start off with a very clean(especially under the nail) finger to slowly massage the opening and work slowly to relax the muscles before proceeding with the dilator (dildo).
any women who has had radiation to the pelvis experiences this type of situation. Do not be embarrassed. You can also speak to a pelvic floor massage therapist and get tips on how to proceed to reduce pain. This is common for women who have had a prolapse.
Be patient with yourSelf. Take a hot shower or bath beforehand to relax.
You will get there it does take time and consistency. It took me a year before any sex or insertions didn’t cause pain after.
Sorry you're having a hard time wth the dilators, they are such annoying things aren't they!
I agree with Lolli - get something a bit friendlier. I myself just use the dilator mainly, but only really use size 2 (my consultant said that size 2 is fine). I only use the number 3 just before an appointment, but the size 3 is a real struggle.
I struggled for a few months to use the dilators, just found it uncomfortable and not stretchy down there. But this has vastly improved almost a year on, much easier to use now. Perhaps that will happen for you soon? I hope.
I think a silicone dildo will be so much better. Also I use cocounut oil more than lube. I just find it nicer and not so "clinical". Lube now just reminds me of hospital examinations haha.
Also, ask your Consultant for the Ovestin (?) cream, it's a cream you insert into the vagina that has estrogen in it so it keeps it "supple". I haven't used any for a few months but I do notice a difference when I do.
Hope things get better soon! Especially your pain hon.
Thanks so much Rosie. I go see the gynae Onc doctors on the 25th again, so I'll ask them if it's suitable for me. Hopefully time does settle things a bit.
Ahhh these flipping things are horrible! How long do most people have to use them after this??
Have you got on any better with it Bexter? I'm really struggling with mine now, size 2 was fine then it's started not going in as well. Back to size 1 & gonna try more frequently but it's so tender on one side after my brachy & has been ever since.
Ahhh these flipping things are horrible! How long do most people have to use them after this??
Have you got on any better with it Bexter? I'm really struggling with mine now, size 2 was fine then it's started not going in as well. Back to size 1 & gonna try more frequently but it's so tender on one side after my brachy & has been ever since.
Yeah ...i hate them. I stil havent tried the suggestions yet as had really bad pelvic, back, rectal and groin pain and been passing clear jelly rectally . So havent pushed it too much. Just managing size 1 sometimes. Im still mostly doing every second day. Tried every day and it got too tender. Went and saw gynae today and everything is all anatomically different. Last inch of my vagina (thats where its really painful) is really stenosed so cant see feel properly and i have some soft weird suspect tissue they can feel rectally. So going mid feb for another eua, cystoscopy, sigmoidoscopy and they are going to take biopsies again. Could be all the thickening i have from radiation. They just want to check before referring me through to pain team.
Not sure how long people use them for.....but i guess years... unless you get back to having sex, but definitely a no go for me at this stage.
They are awful! I hope all goes ok for you! I know what you mean about the more frequent you do it the more tender it becomes! Do you get a pressure feeling at all? im not sure wether my dilator is catching on my sore bits following brachy (i think it agitates it everytime i use it) but Im also struggling with the last bit, its really tender and i'm only managing with size 1 at the minute. I really struggle with being constipated, it always flipping happens when i need to use the dilator. I'm starting to worry about how it's going and the fact i've not had an internal yet. My oncologist keeps saying he doesnt want to cause any trauma if im only on the second size, which i know is a positive he's not worried but i'm starting to panic now. Plus they keep saying we need to wait and see what the scan says...i've got my second MRI next friday. Tried to ask for it earlier but they wouldnt bring it forward.
I thought to myself today how the heck am i supposed to try and get back to having sex if i can even get the second size dilator in!
I hope they can shed some light on things for you with the tests. xxx
I get the normal pop as you go through adhesions, and the last inch is like its trying to squeeze through raw tissue where my walls are really thickened and stenosed. Its the scar tissue on all sides. At the end if kind of feels like stabbing pain through to the rectum. I find it harder, when im all tensed from pain or all bloated.
The radiation has done funky things to all my soft tissues and altered all my bladder and bowel sensations.
Sometimes when they havent been able to get a speculum in with me, they have just tried to have a feel inside.
I know, i just cant really imagine having sex again with all the stenosis.
Best wishes with the MRI. I hope things improve for you. Xx
