Hey Donna! I too have just read your post and, bless you, I’m so with you on this… I went through a very similar experience to you a few years ago, and it was quite possibly the most traumatic experience I’d been through at that point of my life. I’d had HPV consistently for 2 years straight at that point and I just could not shift it, and then on my third smear it came up with cell changes, and I just felt my life fall from underneath me, back then the information around this was poor, and the C word was batted about so carelessly, so all I had to go on was google and my imagination- I was going out of my mind with worry, just like you, looking at my kids and wanting to cry, it was horrific, to the point of which I went private for my colposcopy because I could not bare the 7 week wait for my appt to come through… it cost me a fortune but saved me endless nights of worry waiting. Anyway, cut a long story short, the consultant was terrific, and he said that he believed it was CIN 1 / 2 (worse than my letter had said) but… he didn’t see cancer, and he wanted to make it clear to me that I DID NOT have cancer and he wanted me to sleep at night knowing that (well, I didn’t and I still worried, but here we are…) anyway, a week later my results came back from the biopsies, and he said that no pre cancerous cells had been found after all and it was purely inflammation, like wtf?! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was over the moon and the worry just left me instantly, so it can look worse than it actually is - I did asked for a smear the following year and sadly it still came back HPV positive but there were no cell changes, so I thought, right, I need to do something about this - I completely changed my diet, exercised, cut down on the drink and upped my vitamins (a real concoction!) and then on my 5th smear, I was finally negative!!!
So, I really want to stress to you that please try to not worry until you know what you’re actually dealing with, but I know how you feel, I was the same, constantly thinking what ifs, but then, what if it’s ok? What if it’s fine? What if it’s nothing? And you too are going to be absolutely fine too lettz treatments are incredibly successful, a few of my friends have had them and it’s all turned out fine.
Chin up girl, you’ve got this - you’re in the system, they’ve got you covered, and like the other lady said; this is their bread and butter, they know exactly what they’re looking at and what they’re dealing with xxx