Hi. I had a call from my nurse stating I was HPV positive with borderline changes. It’s made my stomach churn. When she stated it was a sexually transmitted disease I just felt awful… I felt dirty. I’ve always practiced safe sex, never slept around and I preach to my often unsafe friends about the importance of safety. I know about all the other sti’s… but the moment I was told this I was stumped… I just never twigged. And when I have since tried to research online… all it states is the sti stuff… its horrible. I also suffer from severe anxiety so I haven’t been able to eat or sleep or concentrate the last few days because of it. When I do wake, it’s in a panic and I’m constantly shaking. For some reason I can only seem to focus on the STI factor of it… i’m currently single and feel like I now can’t date. I’m not really worried about the abnormal cells… yet! I’m also vitamin d deficient so I wonder if that’s played a factor in this.
Dear Morgan,
So sorry to hear this has hit you so hard. It happens. The HPV virus is transmitted through sexual contact but it’s label as an STI is really unfair, as like HSV (the herpes simplex cold sore virus) it’s pretty much endemic in the population. I have had two husbands in my life (I’m 64) and no other sexual partners, and I had cell changes and CIN 20 years ago and Stage 3 cancer diagnoses this year. Hardly sexually promiscuous - but I immediately felt shame on telling anyone - the stigma hits hard. Please try to put it aside. It’s taken me quite a while to deal with it myself - sadly as they say you only have to have one point of contact to catch this rampant virus. Your body may well throw it off, and if your changes are only borderline they may even return to normal. If you were to date and were worried about transmission, high risk strains of HPV do not cause problems for men, only women - and safe sex is always your best option - you are right there. Concentrate on remembering how common this is - that it’s not like STIs that are treated by drugs or antibiotics - it’s more common than common warts and the best thing you can do it force yourself to stop the stressful, negative thinking and eat healthy to boost your immune system - taking some supplements as well particularly if you’re deficient. You’re not dirty, you’re just normal, like all the rest of us on this forum. X
Hi Morgan
Jacks has given some great advice. I’ve been on this forum for a while now and it seems to me that for every fraction of an ounce of real problems (i.e. cervical cancer) that HPV causes there’s a tonne of anxiety. I suggest it would be best to try and stop Googling because as you’ve discovered it’s just causing you more worry; stick with Jo’s - there’s a lot of reliable information on this website.
It might not feel like it right now but it really is better to know, than not, that you have HPV; it means you will be closely monitored which, most importantly, will minimise your chance of getting cervical cancer.
HPV really shouldn’t stop you dating. Every year many tens of thousands of women in the UK will be told they have HPV (most of whom will not have any serious problems as a result); if all those women felt they couldn’t date it would be a crazy situation.
It might help if you understood a bit more about HPV to help you cope with your feelings about it - knowledge is power. The following link is for information about HPV on this website: https://www.jostrust.org.uk/information/hpv
I agree with Jacks that the best thing you can do now is to focus on looking after your general health e.g. supplements which will optimise your chances of clearing the virus; also be sure to follow medical advice e.g. always keep up to date with cervical screening - wish I had - see my back story.
x
Please please don’t feel dirty we are just unlucky,for some reason that science has not yet discovered women like us are affected by this virus.
We are the small minority HPV is normal and almost everyone that has had sex will be positive at some point and will get rid of it without knowing, and with 0 side effects .
And yes you can definitely date. Take care and good luck.
The Gynae Geek: Your No-Nonsense Guide to ‘Down-There’ have a look at Gynae geek she is fantastic great advice about HPV and other women’s issues.
