Just having a few days of worrying about reoccurance. I feel like everything is bad. I dunno what the next turn will have in store for me. Despite being lucky to have been diagnosed early and given all clear so far I find myself thinking about what's to come a lot and whether I will be ok or not. Half of me would like to be ambitious and live life to the fullest and the other half of me thinks I wish I didn't have to work as much as I am cos I don't want stress. Does anyone else share these feelings? Sorry not a particular questions just wanted to share. X 



I think your feelings are very common. When I finished treatment and after the elation had subsided, I truly couldn't think how I would ever get the fear of a reoccurence out of my head. I did have some counseling which helped a little. However, it wasn't until I got my first six month check under my belt, so to speak, that I started to feel a bit calmer. It's probably the combination of time and checkups that will get you back in balance.

You should always live life to the fullest, whether you're  a cancer survivor or not. None of us knows what's round the corner - I guarantee that 100% of people on this forum never thought they'd need to be here - so go for it! 

love t xx


aw thanks for such a speedy reply. Yeah think I've been worrying as had to wait ages for 3 month check revokes and 6 months check will be due soon. Just more worry about food and what to do to be healthy and keep my immune system good. I've seen a counsellor once and due back next week I am hoping that will help me x 


everyone of us worrys about the what if's.... the trick is not to allow it to consume you in a daily basis. Having a day here and there or a few days once in awhile is totally acceptable, in fact it is probably benificial as it trully makes you think about how you are living life, either if it's to the fullest or healthiest. 

I have found that I make small goals, like this next three moths I'm going to accomplish/do this and I focus on that. As time goes by I find myself setting more long term goals. You need to regroup within yourself and have a focus. Allow a day here and there to reflect or feel sad or scared but then re-focus on your goal. Stay positive and look for nice things around you. Smile nicely at a stranger or join a volunteer group. Take a course or start a new hobby. 

The important things is to know that it is on to be scared but don't let it consume you. 


Hey Lolli

thanks for your reply. I think I was having a bad day just feel like I'm fine one week and then the next I am panicking thinking 'don't get too happy' cos it could all come crashing down. I hope that the counsellor can help and at least I can feel like I have let the feelings out rather than worrying in my head. It's hard cos my partners mum had terminal cancer and his dad had a heart attack recently. One of my best friends has moved away and the other doesn't reply to my messages and my mum is on thr other side of the world. It can be quite lonely having these thoughts. Thank you for reassuring me it's ok and I am sure things will get better x 

Hi Mistell

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this.

I can imagine i'll be the same in the coming months, and definitely going to take up counselling once I've got over surgery and had my follow up appointments. I think it must take a lot of getting used to, but hopefully the positive stories from the ladies on here will provide some relief.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things, take care and sending positive vibes xxxx

Hi Rachel,

Thank you for your comments. I hope you are on the road to recovery after your trach. 

Managed to FINALLY get to talk to the consultant today after waiting for 9 weeks after my last check..

Had some unexplained pains so hoping they can check/reassure me at my next follow up which should be end of this month. 



Hi there - pleased you managed to speak to them and hope your appointment can ease your concerns.

I guess it's hard to not have it at the front of mind isn't it.

Recovering slowly but surely thanks after trach, came home after 2 days. Still swollen and bruised but much more mobile. Were you swollen for a long time afterwards?

Take care



thank you for your reply. I actually had worse pains on Wednesday and Thursday so went to my gp on Friday and have been referred for an ultra sound. Nothing constant just sudden and intense. 

Yeah think I was home after2 days as well. Yeah I was pretty swollen for a while. I still have numbness and sensitivity around the incislion area. Hopefully off to the gym today try and strengthen those core muscles haha! X

Hope the pain has gone away a bit now? Do you have a date for your ultrasound yet?

Yes guess it's bound to be swollen isn't it considering what they've done! Been having some very colourful bruising but that is clearing up now.

Can't wait to start exercising again, just building up the walks at the moment.

Take care and keep me posted.




It just comes randomly like a short sharp brust. I haven't been given an ultra sound app yet but I do have my 2nd 3 month follow next week so that is good, I think they put me in a little earlier. 

Aw hopefully the bruising will go away. Did you have keyhole? I had normal incision so the hardest part for me when I got out was getting in and out of bed pain free x 

Good you have a follow up on the cards soon so hopefully they can offer some insight, let me know how you get on.

I had keyhole so I have 6 very neat wounds that are healing nicely.

Bruising is MUCH better and almost gone now, the body is really magical in its healing powers. Still a bit swollen but otherwise for me now it's more tiredness and trying to not over-do it, plus the occasional twinge. I'm not taking any painkillers now came off everything last weekend so I am only taking now when/if I need.

best of luck with your appointment


Yeah I hope so, I think they pulled the app forward. Saw my counsellor today so that helped and I will see her after my follow up next week.

I know the body does amazing things! Glad your bruising has reduced. i think you kind of have to remind yourself it is major surgery so things will just progress and get better and better and you will feel good in no time. I still have these niggles I am hoping it will be figured out soon.xx