Worrying myself silly...

Hi everyone

This is my 1st post here…
Quick version of my story.
Have had no problems with smears ever. All my issued have been more gynae related. Endometriosis, fibroids, nightmare periods etc. Had lots of treatment to try and have a child and finally had my daughter 5 yrs ago.
Returned the gynaecologist this year as had a recourrance of the nightmare af. Upon investigation they found a large ovarian cyst which needed surgery. This was all done 4 weeks ago. When I came round I was told that during the op, they had had a look at my cervix and it did not look ‘right’ it was grossly enlarged and bleeding. She could not do a colposcopy as the visibility was so poor, but did a smear and took biopsies.
I returned to see her 2 weeks ago and was told that the results were not great. I had atypical glandular cells and high grade CGIN. The cyst was also a borderline mucinous tumour. When pushed for an answer she said that she could not be sure that it was all pre cancer and could be more. She said she was 50/50.
I have been referred to UCH in London for a colposcopy and I’m going tommorow.
I suppose my question is how does this sound. I’ve managed to convince myself that it’s going to be bad with all the factors I’ve got. Do you think that the consultant tomo will be able to give me any answers? I’ve been ok about it but as the date to go back has got closer my panic is rising.
My consultant who did the op said that either way her recommendation would be to have a hysterectomy,?
I know that I have my girl and really didn’t even expect her but this seems so drastic? I am 41.

Thanks for your help in advance and sorry for the long post
Kelly x

Hi Kelly,
just wanted to say “hi” and let you know that I know how you are feeling - very scared and confused. Others may say differently from their experience but my care team did not confirm anything until the histology reports were bck from my biopsies. I had a polyp which turned out to be benign but abnormal cells also in september (bordeline previous March). I had the news none of us want on 11/10 but knowing for sure what you are dealing with is better than all the waiting and 2nd guessing what’s going to be said. You are in good hands and the investigation should progress through the normal stages but I know how frustrating it can all be. Just keep a level head and you will be fine. I’m so sorry I cant give you the re-assurance you want right now - I’m not sure anyone will be able to but take comfort that whatever the outcome, there are lots of us here for you at various stages in the journey. Wishing you luck for tomorrow and let us know