honestly, the Colposcopy was completely fine. She showed me on the screen when she found the white spot of abnormality, it looked quite small and was very confind, even though it is hugely magnified, seeing it actually reassured me a little. I had pre signed an agreement form that if they found the cells then they could remove them there and then, so she double checked if I was happy to go ahead, I said yes. Two little pricks of the anaesthetic and it was done in 5-10 mins. I didn't feel a thing. The anaesthetic make your legs go a bit shakey, but once its done they sit with you for a minute until you are ready to get dressed (only bottom half ooff and covered by a sheet the whle time). No pain at all.
And I know everyone says this but keep bringing to the forefront of your mind that High Grade changes are not cancerous, just cells that *may* become harmful to you if they are not removed. It is extremely rare for women who are going through what we are to be diagnosed with Cancer at this stage.
My results should be back in 3-4 weeks, but I feel strangely positive that I will be just like est941 - high grade CIN2 or CIN3, all removed and then will go on for further smears. That genuinly is the most likely outcome and needless to say a positive one.
I did however have a horrible dream last night, that the letter came confirming cancerous cells. No matter how strong we are, the worry gets to you one way or another. So for me I just focus on other things. I start a new job next week, and have a friends wedding this weekend coming, and on 28th Feb it is my 35th Birthday - I am focussing on celebrating that birthday with positive results from the biopsy and being able to put it behind me - at least untilt the next smear :)
Keep going day by day - keep active and if you get stressed or worried just post on here - there are many ladies here that do understand and will talk to you and help you through it.
sending hugs :) xxx