want this to end ive had enough

I really need some support or someone to just tell me to pull myself together i cant talk to anyone i know as they dont understand ive had cgin and smile lletz advised hysterectomy waited six weeks to see consulatnt to discuss it and get a date and bam she cancels because she is poorly ive now been given another date for 21st jan and this is just fir the discussion and not pre op , im a bloody mess i know it isnt cancer but ive had the fear of the wait the hormones the phycing myself up for the hysterectomy ive completed my family so im lucky in that aspect but had a complete meltdown well breakdown other day to my partner because im scared am i ready to be menopausal and go through the change what if something happens or goes wrong during the op my eldest son has dissabilities and im the only person he has he is 16 and like a five year old mentally . I feel selfish because im feeling like this as i know it could be worse and there are more people going through worse i dont know where i fit in on the group for support as its not cancerous but highly likely there words it will become cancer , i just want it over because i didnt have clear margins shouldnt i be having another lletz if there making me wait this has been going on since october . Apoligising in advance for this breakdown i just dont know where to turn

Hey Jo Jo,

i think it's normal to be anxious and scared and it sounds like you have a lot to deal with. You're definitely not selfish and like us all probably worrying about some things that may never happen.

I'm 40 with no children. Ive had Lletz and two cone biopsies in the space of 2 years, and next year I'm likely to be facing a hysterectomy too. I just found out my results last week and it was pretty distressing! especially telling my mum. Ive tried in the past to deal with it all myself but it definitely helps to talk through your fears with someone as just getting it off your chest can make you feel better.

I console myself with the fact it's a pretty routine procedure and hundreds of women go through this all the time and fingers crossed its the last time for us both. 

At the moment I feel pretty strong but I know I'll have moments where I'll freak out, so your definitely not the only one feeling like that. 

i feel incredibly unlucky on one hand but soooo glad I'm in the system being looked after. 

Let yourself cry when you need to but try and be strong too. I'm sure you can find a way to cope even if that means keeping busy over Christmas.

take care

Lynsey x

Lots of us on here understand love.
I had my hystermectomy on Friday just gone and I’m up and about doing well. Any questions please please don’t be afraid to ask me and I will do my best to answer them.

Thanks for your commentts im just in a right pickel over this all monster i hope your recovering well thanks again ladies xx