Waiting nervously (and also hello!)

Hello everyone, I’ve been looking on here for months now ever since I got my first results, finally made an account so forgive the anxious rant ahead!

I went in for my smear test a few days before my 32nd birthday.

Got the letter back saying (ASC-H) Possible High Grade present so was referred to a Colposcopy clinic. This was very quickly scheduled.

Doctor there said she could definitely see high grade cells (but she needed a specialist to see me first as I am apparently built slightly differently to most women so I was booked to see a specialist) but when the results came back it said CIN 1 and they pushed the specialist appointment back from November to January as he wasn’t available and I wasn’t so urgent.

In January I saw the specialist and he saw the same high grade cells the first doctor saw and took two biopsies to be sure.
It came back CIN 3 and I was informed that sometimes biopsies miss the cells, and that I’ve had CIN 3 all along as it doesn’t progress that fast.

The specialist also noted my womb was enlarged and referred me for an UltraSound which I am still waiting for since January.

That was months ago now and I haven’t heard back from them. I rang to inquire and was told that since I have been on the waiting list for a month for my LLETZ treatment (which has to be done in theatre as I’m built differently) that I am showing up “in red” on their system as I need to be seen urgently as it’s been longer than a month.

I was told I would be contacted but that was a week ago and I haven’t been. I have now had this CIN 3 thing inside me for 7 months that we know of and for who knows how long before that?

It’s really terrifying me now, just asked my boyfriend (who has been really supportive and brilliant) what kind of cancer his mother passed away from and was horrified to learn it was Cervical cancer that was only caught because she went in for Fibroids (fibroids are one of the possible reasons why my womb is enlarged.)

So now I’m doubly concerned as I have a fear that this is upsetting him more than I thought, I fear that history will repeat itself, I fear that this thing inside me has been there for too long and it might have invaded already, I fear that I won’t get to have children, I fear that my whole future life will be completely changed, I fear that my family will be upset, I fear for my life and I fear for others as so many women do not go in for their free smear tests each year and I irrationally fear what could have happened had I not gone in for my test?

I’m just anxious and scared and doing an awful lot of random pacing about the living room.

Advice and hugs will be appreciated. Thanks for letting me rant. x

Hello and welcome to Jo's it really is a good place for advice and support just Thourt I would say hello and give you a massive ((( hug ))) x

Thanks CVS! :)

Yeah, everyone here, from what I've been reading, is really supportive and lovely.

Hope you had a great Paddy's day yesterday. :)

It's awful they've kept you waiting so long! keep calling and badgering them x

This morning I finally got a date for the LLETZ (time to be confirmed in the letter they say they are sending out)

This comes a few weeks after I rang my GP and asked THEM to ask the clinic instead. The GP got back to me the following day to say no date could be set yet, specialists, timetables, etc. She was very apologetic and understanding, but I felt back at square one.

I felt my life was on hold, as I couldn't book two family wedding holidays due to "No flying for a month after" rule.

But now - yay! Date booked and it's a week on Thursday! I was so relieved about it, I cried.

I still have my worries about the treatment and what they might find that wasn't in the biopsy but at least something is getting done!

I still haven't heard anything about the Ultrasound, however. :/

Thanks Lemoncat11, I did. I rang for three days in a row and got the answering machine each time.

Each time I politely asked if I could get a date or hear back. (I didn't want to sound angry or upset and risk not being answered!) but didn't get an answer regardless.

Rang my GP as it might look more official to go through them.

But now it's happening! Whooo!


Best of luck with your results, hope you hear back soon. xx