Waiting is Hell !!

Hi all I had a smear on 4th Dec 2014 and the results where mild Dysayosis with HPV evidence had colposcopy on the 22nd Dec and had 2 puch biopsies on the day of the colp I was so stressed I couldn't talk or ask questions without bursting into tears, there were 2 Doctors and 2 nurses in the room when i was having my consultation and they all stayed in the room and watched my colposcopy which i didn't like I felt so vulnerable I was so stressed I didn't ask anything about why he had taken the biopsies or anything. I'm really finding it hard waiting for the results I've not slept properly since just keep waking up and lying there worrying about having to have Lletz and when I do sleep i'm having really weird nightmares about really random things and shouting out and I can't concentrate on anything I've spent all christmas on google and I know a lot of you say don't do this but I can't help it. The thought of having Cancer doesn't scare me its the thought of having to have another colposcopy and Lletz and those people looking at my bits again just totally freaks me out I told the doctor i do't want this treatment I would rather have a hysterectomy i'm 52 what do I need my cervix for at my age. I think this whole system is so cruel taking biopsies and making you wait4 to 6 weeks to find out whats happening. I did phone the clinic to ask if there was any news and the nice nurse had a look in my notes but just told me to try not to worry as my cells were only mild and to just wait for my letter 

Oh Bless you Carol!

I am so sorry to hear what a scary time you are having. It isn't nice having half the world with their heads up your skirt, but something you get used to. Maybe you could draw a smiley face somewhere close by to raise a laugh? Anything to lighten the mood would improve the situation. Even in our 50s a hysterectomy is a big deal and not something you want to jump headlong into if you have only mild dyskariosis, believe me. Perhaps you can get something to help you sleep from your doctor? Or find a rivetting book that keeps you turning the pages until your eyelids are too heavy to read any more? Or just hang out here :-) We are so much nicer than Google :-)

Be lucky



Hi Carol,

What an accurate title. It is hellish isn't it?

I found it all most undignified and very surreal, trying to act normally and chat about what you are doing on the weekend whilst someone with goggles and gloves is rooting around and poking your most sensitive parts. 

You are through the worst part now. If and that is IF you do need to go back for a bit more treatment then yes it may be uncomfortable but over with very quickly. 

It is reassuring that the nurse told you that, hopefully when your letter arrives really soon it will confirm mild changes and no further action required.



Hi Suzysooz thanks for the reply its been a really horrible time emotionally if my results come back as just repeat the smear I will be ok but i'm not going to have it done before Christmas again its been a horredous time I couldn't do my shopping or anything I didn't have the heart will wait till Christmas is over before I go 

Hi Carol,

Yes I totally agree. You don't want it hanging over your head over Christmas, when everything takes longer and no one is around to talk to. From what I was told you would book a repeat smear from when you get your results? My consultants sec told me July for my 6 month smear, I am assuming all being well another 6 monther in Jan. Probably won't stop me worrying about it coming up though! My sister in law had LLETZ several years ago and is now on 3 yearly smears like everyone else, not sure how I would feel about such a big gap after this. I would go every day if it stopped it coming back

If you don't hear tomorrow, I would make a cheeky call to your consultants secretary

Have a lovely rest of the weekend


Thanks Suzysooz x

Oh well its excatly four weeks since my colposcopy biopsy and letter hasn't arrived even though I knew it probably wouldn't arrive today,guess I will just have to carry on  stalking the post man 

Oh and Thanks for you kind words Tivoli I've just realised I never replied to you comment, I am feeling a more relaxed about this whole thing x