Hi so just looking to vent really and share my experience so far. I must say that without this site I really don’t know how I would have coped! Everyone is truly amazing.
So 12months ago I had my first smear which came back with borderline changes and tested positive for HPV 18. I had a colposcopy with no treatment and was advised to have a repeat smear in 12months. Which brings us to where I am now…a worrying wreck.
I’ve had some symptoms since early October last year…irregular bleeding, lower back pain and bleeding after sex occasionally. So I went to my GP in mid January this year and she decided to do my smear a month early. 2 weeks later the results showed severe dyskaryosis and I went for my colposcopy 11days ago.
My consultant was lovely and explained everything to me step by step. He decided to give me LLETZ treatment there and then as he could see most of my cervix was covered with changes. It literally all turned dense white and bumpy when they did the first acid test! The procedure itself was fine. It was just the 8 injections of local anaesthetic into my cervix and the tachycardia which followed which was the worst! My consultant removed a large area of my cervix and so I am now playing the dreaded waiting game and it sucks!
I’ve had constant severe dull ache to my lower abdo since the treatment, just like bad period pains really. I lost watery pink fluid for the first week and I’ve been bleeding frank red blood for the past couple of days but I think this may be my period! Honestly I’m exhausted. I’m sleeping but not well as the not knowing what I’m actually dealing with is just always on my mind! I’m just hoping that no news is good news!
Anyway I think the main reason I decided to post was just to share as it’s really helped me to read other people’s stories. I do have one question though…as my consultant gave me the treatment there and then instead of doing biopsies first, is it possible he did see something sinister? Or am I just reading too much into this?
If you had read this essay thank you for taking the time to read. And I hope that it helps some people like others have helped me!
All the best
hi jen, sorry to hear your going through this horrible time.
I to had lletz two weeks ago after my smear came back as an abnormal result (don't know what the abnormality was) but I went for my colcoscopy and they did lletz there and then, this has been an awful experience for me (not the procedure, as that was fine) but it's the not knowing and worrying that's getting to me, I already suffer with anxiety so this has just topped it all off!
I'm an absolute mess in the mornings, jumping when the phone rings, wondering what the postman is going to bring, I know exactly what your going through hun, and if it wasn't for the amazing women on this forum I think I would of gone insane by now. this forum is a godsend.
big hugs for you, and if you need a chat just give me a message
Awww thanks for the reply hun really does help knowing there is support out there!
We sound like we're in a similar situation with not really knowing what we are dealing with and isn't that the worst! And it's so hard to explain to people who have never been through this.
I took a week off after my LLETZ as I'm a paramedic I didn't really fancy having to listen to other people's problems! As selfish as that sounds I just needed some me time to try and get my head in a better place! Which it is in a way and I'm now back at work, but im constantly on this forum and constantly reading different info. I just wanna make sure if it is worst case scenario I'm ready! My family think im crazy for doing that but it's just something I need to do!
Hope youre ok ok as well hun?
It's like people just don't understand, only us women on here. it really is helpful. and that's not selfish of you at all hun, you got to do what's best for you. I'm not as bad as I was but the waiting for the results is awful :( I don't know weather I'm coming or going. I'm the same lol I am constantly on here, it's hard to explain to people what's going through our heads and only on here people seem to understand us. it's an awful waiting game but it is reassuring to talk to people going through the same thing as you don't feel so alone then
Exactly hun. This site really is good at reassuring you that the worry and the fear of the unknown and all the dread you are feeling is nothing to worry about! Really has been my saviour! I hope you get your results soon Hun. Always here if you need a chat
aww same to you hun, thank you