Waiting for colposcopy - terrified

Okay this might be rather epic.

I've been in a similar situation before but I've never had 'high grade abnormality' before and also now I have two children, the stakes seem higher somehow.

In May and October 2007 (27 years old) I had two smears, showing Mild Dyskariosis. The second of these triggered a colposcopy. I had biopsies taken and thankfully nothing untoward was discovered (CIN normal).

In September 2008 my next smear showed Mild Dyskariosis again. I had moved house and attended a different hospital for colposcopy. I had more biopsies. This was November 2008. Again, all was normal and at the time I had tests for both low and high risk strains of HPV. All normal, no HPV (at least the strains they tested for). The gynae said he could give me an HPV vaccine which I had (privately, I paid for it). 


My next smear in June 2009 was normal! What a relief. I was put on a yearly recall. 

Unbeknowst to me I was in the very early days of pregnancy when this smear was done. I had my baby in February 2010. I went for my next smear in June 2010 and this was also normal. 

My next smear was June 2011 - I wasn't on a yearly recall anymore but I wanted to be on the safe side. 

Had another baby in May 2013. We moved house at the very end of December 2013 and something made me seek a smear test... February 2013 (33 years old) smear showed 'high grade dyskariosis'.

The letter says this is unlikely to be cervical cancer but I am absolutely terrified. I have suffered from post-natal depression both times and am on ADs so maybe the anxiety levels I'm feeling have something to do with that? I just can't stop catastrophising. I am terrified about leaving my children without a mummy. I thought my body was so strong and whole after birthing two beautiful and healthy children. I was also imagining maybe having a third and I am in such pain thinking about what might be happening inside.

I didn't hear from the clinic and after two days virtually solid spent calling them they picked up and I booked an appt for colposcopy there and then. So it's Thursday 13th next week. They said my referral was marked as 'see within four weeks' so maybe it's not regarded as the 'most' urgent?

I don't understand why I keep having abnormal cells especially as I had the all-clear for HPV? I've had the same partner for all these years btw so no new exposure to anything. Oh and by the way I've discovered the man who did my second colposcopy and gave me the vaccine has been suspended following a routine audit of his cases which showed a higher than usual level of complications - I've spoke to the NHS helpline for this and it seems this relates more to surgeries than colposcopy but it hardly makes me feel better :(

I can't stop googling scary things and whenever I'm up in the night with the baby I am in pieces thinking about things.

I would imagine it's quite likely they will take biopsies AND treat - is that a reasonable assumption? I can't stop thinking about them looking at my cervix and saying they can see cancer.

I don't know that anyone can make me feel 'better' but I know there's a lot of collective wisdom and love on here so I have put myself in your hands xxx




Hello :) first of all I was going to say don't google as it's the worst thing ever! 

i had my smear on the 7th feb and it showed CIN3 I then had my colposcopy on the 24th feb the consultant couldn't do any treatment 

so took 2 punch biopsies I rang them yesterday as I'm terrible at waiting and they have my results but the receptionist wouldn't tell me anything! 


CIN3 which is what you have is not cancer it's pre cancer and only very very small cases turn out to be cancer once a biopsy is taking it seems a lot when looking on this site but

thats only because we are all here for te same reasons, I also have children three two girls and one boy age 5 to 8 months, I was absolutely heartbroken when I got my smear results and condemned myself thinking I had CC but since using this website iv found a way forward and I know if my results show I have CC so be it there are amazing women are this site that have been through it and came out at the end, 


at at the colposcopy iv found more women get treatment there and then I never as my cervix had a lot of CIN3 and CIN2 showing 

so yes you assume correct you may get treatment it really does depend on the clinic you attend hun xxx



hi Ive just been told i have high grade abnormalty too and ive been going through hell waiting i have two young kids too. one week to go til my colposcopy and im sure they will do treatment on the day, in a way im hoping this as i dont want to wait for another appointment just for treatment. my doctor has given me dysapagne (excuse spelling) to calm me on the day before and on the day im going to need it. i just want it all over now. so you are definitely not alone! everyhting keeps going through your mind and ive googled everything! it hasnt helped lol, no surprise there. keep busy thats what ive tried to do but i know its getting near now. and i know even after the test ill still have to wait for the results of any biopsys. this site has helped me too talking to people who know exactly how im feeling right now. good luck with everything keep us up to date xx

Thanks all - I am very up and down about it. Some days I feel optimistc and others I am full of fear for what will happen. :(


saztag good luck for next week - you'll be having yours the day before I have mine xxx


lola I think you're booked in for lletz now if I'm reading your other thread correctly? xxx

Hiya yes I should be getting the treatment under GA within the next

two weeks hopefully, im not going to lie I am a little scared I think it's because it's the unknown 

that is scaring me but I keep thinking my situation could be a whole lot worse then what it is now

not long until your colposcopy good luck & best wishes it's not too bad I just kept thinking this could save

my life that's what got me through mine it wasn't painful when the biopsy was taking just a little u comfortable

not painful though I can't describe it I looked away from the screen when the biopsy was taken though, make sure

you have someone with you I was shaking like a leaf after mine xxx

Hello all - have been really working myself up to be brave about tomorrow and today my period has arrived. Post-baby cycles so very irregular and unpredictable. Not sure how but it will need rescheduling :(


Good news - I spoke to a nurse at the clinic a few days ago and she checked my referral which is Moderate Dyskariosis. Apparently both Moderate and Severe are reported as High Grade - did everyone else know this? I am slightly less worried but still eager to get it looked at, obviously.