I'll apologise now for the up-coming wall of text but I'm home alone right now and don't really have anyone to talk to.
The story so far:
Husband and I arrived home from two weeks holiday on Sunday the 27th of July only to find various letters. The smear I'd had just before going on holiday had come back dodgy and I had been given an 'urgent' appointment at the colposcopy clinic - for while we were away on holiday, which I obviouly missed. There was further letter strongly urging me to get in touch as soon as possible. So, the morning after our return (our wedding anniversary, coincidentally ) and with a hangover (urgh) I called them and was asked to go in THAT DAY. We went in the afternoon and I was told I had CIN3 and high grade CGIN. I had a lletz with tophat there and then under a local. The consultant did say I could book in for a GA but he would prefer to do it as quickly s possible - and it was THE most uncomfortable, painful and hideous thing I have physically been through. I was told results could take 4-6 weeks.
I had 4 days to recover from this before having to go for a week's holiday with my extended family. My brother died of cancer, my much beloved neice is ill, my parents are very elderly and my mum is developing dementia - I couldn't tell any of them what was going on with me so I invented a tummy bug and a horrific period to explain why I didn't fancy going off yomping up mountains. Whilst away I felt rather ill, and the discharge got quite whiffy and embarrassing so I had to get antibiotics from a local doc.
Family holiday over, husband heads off to a distant EU country for 10 days to visit other family. Not due back 'til next Wednesday.
Fast forward to today: phonecall from hospital - can I come in on Friday morning to urgently see consultant again. This is to be at another hospital, not even at the colposcopy clinic because he wants to see me as soon as possible. Now, of course, I'm freaking out. I tried to find out on the phone today what we were looking at, in order to figure out if husband needs to come home. We had previously worked out 4 scenarios:
1. Everything was got with lletz, discharged for follow-ups.
2. Need a repeat lletz, or discuss possible hysterectomy (I'm not TOO upset by that prospect, we're not having children anyway)
3. Cancer found, need hysterectomy
4. Cancer found need chemo/radio etc.
We had decided that if it was scenarios 1 or 2, I would go to any appt. on my own, if it was 3 or 4 husband would need to come home and come with me. The nurse would not give me any indication of what we were looking at but after I explained our reasoning and that he was away and it would cost us nearly £1000 for him to get home in time sshe would still not be drawn into saying more than hinting very strongly that he needed to come with me! So now, husband is coming home tomorrow on vry expensive and convoluted flights.
If all that wasn't enough, we're supposed to be moving house several hundred miles away in three weeks - husband starts massive and stressful new job. So far this year I have started and resigned from incredibly stressful teaching job in a failing school with a culture of staff bullying (half the teaching staff tried to leave in the two terms I was there), I had labyrinthitis for a month, my mini-me niece has been diagnosed with a neurological disorder which results in fits and fainting, my mum is getting mentally pretty bad, I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder - and - get this, finally, in the last 6 weeks been diagnosed as having Aspergers.
I am beyond the edge of stressed and scared. I don't even know what I want to say or ask.