My name is Kirsty I’m 31 and I’ve just had a letter come through literally a couple of days after my third smear to say I have abnormal cells - high grade dyskaryosis and need to go for a colposcopy.
Obviously I was shocked and a bit worried but figured after reading the leaflet that I was in good hands, it’s very unlikely to be cancer, etc I was ok. Then come today and I am a wreck, I just keep bursting into tears, can’t help imagining worst case scenarios and I just don’t know what to do or who to talk to so am feeling very alone right now.
I feel so cheated that I’ve had two fine smears and how I’ve jumped from nothing to severe. How can that just happen? Now I’m worried as around 6 months ago my periods completely changed and I started bleeding for just one day with a bit of spotting on the second day, with my age and feeling hormonal I put it down to the possibility of early menopause beginning but now I’m concerned it was the beginning of these abnormalities… When I mentioned it at my smear she said she wasn’t concerned and to just watch out for spotting at other times, pain after intercourse etc none of which I have so I’m confused now as to how it just ‘happens’
I was told about this website and after reading some of your stories I know I’m not alone in going through this but I just don’t know what to do.
I managed to hold it together to take my two daughters to school but literally cried all the way back home and should be setting off for my university lecture in 20 minutes but just feel like curling into a ball and shutting the world out. Does this get better am I just being stupid and over anxious?
Sorry I just meant to write a quick post but have rambled, cried and snotted my way through this one instead…
Edited to add I’ve now got my colposcopy date this Wednesday morning so feeling relieved I don’t have long to wait but scared how fast things are moving.