Very anxious :-( -children mentioned

Hi, I received my results from my smear two weeks ago and came back with borderline changed and evidence of HPV. I am so worried that I have cancer. I have a one year old who is the love of my life and can't bear the thought of not seeing him grow. I currently have the implant in so at the moment my periods are longer lasting- when I was pregnant a year ago I never bled at all. And once I am off my period I don't get any bleeding after sex. I get some pain during sex but this is not often and only ever happens when he is very deep inside me and do feel achy in pelvis after. I have also experienced pressure, almost like a need to push something out. After reading up on this it's probably down to me giving birth. Anyway I am worried sick, hardly eating not sleeping properly an driving my friends and family mad by constantly ringing them upset. Please help if you can! 

Hi Laura, it's crap to be having to go through this! I too had a borderline smear a couple of months ago and spent my days between the smear letter coming through and colposcopy not being able to eat, sleep, or think about anything other than what was going to happen to me! I have a 7 month old and have thought of every possible scenario of what might happen along the way. I ended up having LLETZ treatment last week which wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be, but I'm still now panicking and thinking what if what if what if - try and relax and think positive, it is very very very unlikely that a borderline smear will be anything more than just that. If you didn't have evidence of HPV they wouldn't even be calling for you, it's just cells are less likely to return to normal by themselves when you have the virus and your body can't fight it off, so they just need to check in more detail as to what's going on in there. I really wish I could take my own advice!!  Xx

Hi Laura,

I'm sorry to hear that these results have knocked you for six.  I to have had a similar experience when I got my results in January (mine was severe changes).  I literally cried from the minute I opened the letter to the minute of my first appointment.  i am fortunate to have private cover so waited 4 days for an appointment for a specialist who did a colposcopy there and then who told me about 10% of my cervix had cells that needed removing and I was booked in for a Lletz the week after.  This was done (bit uncomfotable but ok) and then I went back a week later for the resukts which were CINII changes no cnacerous cells.  I have just had my 6 month check up which came up negative and am now on yearly smear tests for 9 years.

I know it is easier said than done as I was in a shocking state - i can only describe it like I had opened a letter that said you will die in 6 weeks it was that severe.  i got put on beta blockers by my doctor as he could see I couldn't function with this cloud over my head.  I then alongside of this developed an anxiety where I thought if its not my cervix its in me somewhere else which i have been seeing someone for.

Just try (try) to think positiveley and look at your little one as determination to get it all sorted so you can carry on being mummy

Thinking of you

d x

So true sweep007, glad to hear your results all came back ok. It's such a worrying time xx

a day ago i sent for a regular smear and i have a cervical ulcer, i have to wait for the results, i cant think, i am terrified. But reading this somehow gives me hope. thank you for sharing