Vaginismus and cervical screening

Hi everyone, 

Been lurking and reading forum posts for a little while now but thought I would finally pluck up the courage and post myself.

Just as a bit of background, I am 26 years old with no kids and never been on the pill. I have a partner and have been with him for nearly four years.

Unfortunately I lost my mum to bowel cancer earlier in the year and still reeling a bit from that, as you can probably imagine. Maybe I have cancer on the brain and am worrying more than I should but I've had such bad luck recently that nothing would surprise me any more (sorry for self-pitying rant!) 

Anyway, recently been noticing increased discharge and a little bit of bleeding after sex - also irregular periods where my cycles are either really long or ridiculously short. The bleeding and discharge started about a month ago and as soon as it began my stomach dropped to be honest because I KNEW I'd have to book a cervical screening test. 

I have had pretty severe vaginismus (NHS website describes it as 'persistent involuntary tightening of muscles around the vagina whenever penetration is attempted' if anyone hasn't heard of it) since I was a teenager which makes even the task of putting a tampon in near enough impossible sometimes. I have never been able to have sex comfortably and, as you can imagine, screening tests are a nightmare and also nigh on impossible. If you don't suffer from this, you might not be able to get what I'm talking about but basically impenetrable steel walls have nothing on my vaginal muscles when it's really bad. 

I had a smear test when I turned 25 but it came back inadequate as the doctor found it impossible to get enough cells as I was so tense :( As it was such a horrid experience, I just haven't been back since even though that was almost two years ago now. 

Anyway, saw the doctor the other day and explained situation. She was lovely and said she would do test for me herself and has prescribed me valium to take beforehand. 

Basically, the point of this long and rambly post is to ask whether anyone else suffers from bad vaginismus like this and whether valium has helped them through the screening process? I imagine there are other posts like this on the site but it's always nice to get a bit of personal reassurance from people who know what this is like. 

Feel like such a wimp but this has always been the way for me unfortunately :( The fear of the screening process nearly overrides the fear of having cancer, which must seem so stupid to others on here!

If you've reached the end of this post, thank you for hearing me out.

Liquorice 

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