Vagina Physio!

Hi Everyone, 

Well, I've been sent an appointment to see a Vagina Physiotherapist. Oh joy. Imagine my excitement! Funnily enough I don't remember that on the list of career options at school, but maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention.... anyway...

Next Thursday morning I'm off to no doubt be prodded about yet again by someone I've never met before, who will no doubt put their glove-laden fingers inside me and say "And how does that feel?"

"Delightful! Thank you SO much!"

No indication in the letter if I'll be seeing a male or female or what the appointment will involve. As a result of the extreme surgery I've had, I've been left with some physical issues, one of which is a vaginal prolapse, which they are going to try and resolve with physio before it gets worse, so that I can hopefully avoid another operation. But I appear to have turned into a 3yr child about the whole thing. I know it's the best thing for me, I know it's really good that I've got the appointment before my 6 month check appointment (which is on 17th April), and I know the likelihood is the physio will be a very nice person, but there's a tantrum-throwing child inside me stomping her foot, furrowing her brow and going "I DON'T WANT TO GO!!" I'm not particularly worried about it - just stroppy! On a very basic level, I just don't want to do it. 

I think this sort of thing makes me realise how cross I am with cancer, as well. At the risk of stating the obvious, I am cross that I got it, cross about what it was doing to me (how dare it!!), cross about what had to be done to my body because of it, cross about what I've been left with because of it. I'm cross that I can never go back to being the person who had never had cancer. I'm cross that other people think of it as concrete and clear cut (as in, you've either got cancer or you haven't, and if you haven't, what's the problem). I'm cross that I live in the shadow of fear of recurrence and to some extent, probably always will, and am now more frightened than I used to be of other kinds of cancer as well. As you may have gathered, I'm cross!!! Oops, I think I might be having a bit of a rant. :-/ Some days a good rant is the only way to go though I reckon... 

Anyway, I think I just wanted to vent to people who would actually understand! 

Annabel. x

Oh Annabel - you have been through so much and can completely understand you feeling cross as I have also begun to experience some anger of late.   agree that its the realisation of how your body has been affected once the whole treatment/surgery stuff has passed. Do you mind me asking what aings  prolapse is like etc? I'm having a break from my dilators on docs orders as a result of a recent infection and am always conscious of how things "feel" down there.  Hope you are doing ok xx

Really enjoyed your rant. You said it all better than I ever could. 

Best wishes 


Oh Annabel, I wish I could muster ‘cross’. I can only manage weird and weepy right now!

I do agree though, my oncology nurse did tell me that the bit after what she called the ‘action phase’ was often the most difficult, but I wasn’t expecting it to be like this. It’s so much harder than anyone on the outside realises and I’m finding that all sorts of things that have nothing directly to do with the cancer are coming to the surface for me now.

Actually, there’s a Maggie’s Centre in the grounds of my hospital and I have spoken to them today and arranged to see their resident psychologist in a couple of weeks. I really feel the need to talk (and maybe have a rant) about some of this stuff face to face with an impartial professional - some things are too much for friends and family to help with. They said ‘we are Switzerland’ by which I think they mean that if I felt I needed to have a rant about my treatment or the NHS, I could do that too.

Anyhow good luck with the vag physio - rather than being fiddled with some more, I am picturing a sweaty military type in a vest who will bellow at you as you struggle to complete some kind of bizarre vaginal assault course… not sure that was a helpful image, but good luck soldier! :slight_smile:

OMG Annabel

Sounds just too much at present for me but i hope you benefit from it and please keep us posted how you get on.

' Down there' is still a no go area for me (or hubby) and cannot imagine physio or phsical at present!!

I am not really sure i have  experienced cross yet but have vented  my  feelings by writing it down and it most definetly seemed like therapy and helpful.

Another great brave  person with fab insight and info ( thx for pm)  and sending you lotsa love for tomorrow


New one on me...I am just wondering if it's something that the job centre send people to do!!!! LOL!!! Hope it all goes'll have to let us all know what it's like!! Wonder if you can get a vag boot camp...?? xx