Unsupportive partner

So a week ago I had lletz treatment, everything went wrong and I spent about 3 hours with them trying to stop bleeding, in quite a bit of pain, a catheter, gas and air, then being rushed to theatre to stop it in there. I'm quite traumatised by it, and right now don't feel like I ever want anyone anywhere near me again. Not that I'm even allowed for another few weeks. But day in day out all I'm getting is him going on and on about when will I feel like being intamate again, calling me fridged, saying things like if he finds out I've touched myself he won't be happy on and on. I've tried talking to him and telling him how I feel but then the next day it starts again. I've told him I have HPV and my body needs to clear it and stress doesn't help, but he doesn't see how he is stressing me out. I feel like when time is up and I am "allowed" again then it will get worse.

Hi Rosiex

im sorry that you are having even more stress put on you during such a traumatic time. I'm not one to judge but if his only concern is himself then maybe it's time to re-evaluate your relationship. If you have tried to talk to him and it hasn't helped then tell him where to go. Your body is not for his pleasure and to have at his will. There is a bit of compromise in every relationship and there is more then one way to be close but you should not do it for him but as a way to be close when you both need it. 

I do hope he starts to understand more, he is probably a great person but really doesn't seem to understand what you are going through. 

Good luck hon. 

Hello Rosiex,

Sounds like you have had a very difficult time with your lletz procedure and must have felt quite out of control ending up in theatre. It may take a while for things to settle down and for you to be able to process what's happened. All the more reason for you to feel you are in control of your body now. Of course we don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, but your partners response seems to be rather immature and selfish. When you have been through something like this you realise what a very intimate thing sex is and requires a lot of trust. If you have spoken to him about how you feel and are not getting anywhere then as Lolli said, it may be time for you to think carefully about whether this relationship is working for you. Scary I am sure, but apart from all the other aspects of relationships ie mutual trust, respect etc, feeling you are in control of your body is a must. Good luck and stay strong. X

I'm sorry Rosie but I'm just going to say this... Your boyfriend sounds really insensitive, immature and just mean. You don't deserrve this at all. I would not be putting up with this and telling him where to go. 

You need time to heal and if he can't understand that, that's his problem not yours. 

just focus on yourself sweetie. 


Rosie xx