Trying to process it

I had to have cervical screening every year for the past 3 years as they said I was hpv negative, then my recent screening just before Christmas Dec 2021 I only just found out it was now hpv positive and that I need an urgent colposcopy within 2 weeks . Yesterday they phoned me and called me in straight away for it. I didn’t actually know what to expect, I kind of thought a colposcopy they just look and assess. But when I got in there they started talking about Loop Excision and treatment and I was so taken back. I was like, we’re doing this NOW? The consultant and nurses were brilliant and talked me through everything and the procedure was so quick. My partner wasn’t allowed in with me so he had waited with the car, when he picked me up and I told him what they’d done he was shocked too but like me, relieved they acted so quickly.
I was very uncomfortable and in pain that night (last night) and today I still feel uncomfortable and also really emotional. I’m sure that’s to be expected. I stumbled upon this site as I’ve been googling it all.
At the colposcopy appointment my curiousity got to me and I asked to see the sample they’d taken and I wish that I hadn’t asked. It was horrible I not going to lie! I just stared at the part of my cervix they had just removed and I felt repulsed. I know it’ll grow back (hopefully healthier than ever). I’m just still processing it all. They said it was high grade abnormal cells and something to do with the glands of the cervix. They said it doesn’t necessarily mean it will have been cancer but could turn into it, they won’t know until they’ve looked at the sample properly. I’m worried but also really hoping They got all the abnormal cells.
It is normal to feel so emotional though, I wonder how fast or slow they send the results?

I thought they only took rice sized sample at colonoscopy Xx

Sorry colposcopy X

I think it must depend on each person and how much of the cervix is affected. I thought they would just do a little biopsy, which they might do for some women, but after reading more about it if the abnormal cells are all round the edge of the cervix (entrance of the cervix? not sure what to call it) then this LEEP or LLETZ procedure makes sense. Just lop it off and hope they got all the abnormal part. Think that is what they’ll test for too, the check they got it all, if there’s clear cells around it then it means they got it all from what I read. But yeah it was a shock to see how much. But they explain the cervix is a muscle and it should heal really well and grow back.
I’ve felt wiped out today and just emotional. I’m sure it’ll pass. The cramps/pain isn’t too bad now either. Was sore last night.

Hey, I had lletz treatment at my colposcopy in July last year and my biopsies were quite large too, more like lumps to be honest. It wasn’t nice to see but also glad they had taken what they could at the time.

It’s ok to feel emotional and normal too. Results normally come back quite quick if your high grade; I was and it was 2.5 weeks even though it felt longer when I got my results. It’s hard not to worry I know but try to stay positive. They don’t hang around with high grade abnormal cells as they want to get treatment underway quickly if it’s needed. Xx

Thanks for your reply. Yeah I’m glad they as acted fast too, I’m just still a little shocked at it. Can I ask have you had any long term problems since your lletz? Did you heal okay? Been reading about some women who had ongoing problems ie with sex because of their lletz procedures. Not sure how much of that is physical or emotional though.

It is a shock isn’t it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I was going through it, it just didn’t sink in and to be honest I still don’t think it has.

I didn’t have any problems after my lletz treatment and as I had an operation within 8 weeks of lletz I couldn’t have sex as they advised not too to allow my cervix to heal pre op and since then I’ve been recovering from my op so I still haven’t yet. Just not sure if it’s going to be the same🤷🏻‍♀️

Hi, how are you feeling now after your treatment?
I had a smear back on the 11th November, had a letter with my results on the 27th and an appointment for a colposcopy on the 8th December.
The consultant did say to me they could take a biopsy and we could wait for the results of that before treatment or if she could see the area of abnormal cells she could do treatment there and then with my consent and that would be sent off to be looked at. I just said do it there and then if she could do she did.
I was also shocked at how large the piece removed was! I asked the nurses if that was really big and they said average sized for a LLETZ procedure but to me it was huge! I also watched a lot of the procedure on the screen next to me :nauseated_face:.
I’m still waiting for the results as was told 4 weeks and it’s been just over 5. Hoping they won’t be much longer as my anxiety is through the roof!

Aww I hope you don’t have to wait too much longer for the results then. Try and be positive I think they take so much as they have to try and take all the abnormal cells and then check there’s the border of normal cells which would mean they got it all so fingers crossed. I don’t feel too bad but have been working yesterday and today so keeping my mind occupied. I still feel a bit drained and lacking energy though but the pain has eased off. More annoyed at having to wear pads though after not wearing pads for the past 8 years!

Yea I’m trying so hard to be positive. I’m not as bad as I was after the lletz as i also tested positive for covid so had a lot of time on my hands to think! But after being back at work after Xmas has helped it’s just at night when I’m sat my mind takes over and I tend to think the worst all the time.

I’m pleased you seem to be recovering well! I also wasn’t too bad and had quite a smooth recovery, I know what you mean about the pads though! :confounded: I’d forgot how uncomfortable they were lol xx

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Hi zaerodaz
I had pretty much the same experience. Had smear 26th nov, letter on 24th Dec for appointment at C clinic on 7th Jan without having gad any smear results.
Was told at apt had high grade abnormal
Cells and HPD and recommended LLEZ procedure there and then owing to grade of cells. Was in shock and adrenaline rush was awful. The procedure, recovery was nowhere as bad as physical and emotional reaction to the news.
I was told results yesterday, 7 days, that cells taken were non- cancerous. Given high grade i didnt think this was possible, but obviously it is so. Good luck

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Oh wow, it’s such a shock isn’t it. And the procedure I had know idea they even did that. I always thought a colposcopy was just looking with a camera! But it is good they can do such quick treatment. But they don’t prepare you for the mental and emotional shock of it. I wouldn’t wish that procedure on my worst enemy!
I have been feeling much better in myself emotionally than I did the firdt and second day after it, but not sure if it’s because I’ve been busy with work and no time to think about it. I’m hoping I’ll get my letter/results soon and I read somewhere that even if it is high grade the chances of it being cancerous are still very very slim.

Glad you had a smooth recovery and hope you’re recovered okay after covid too. Fingers crossed for your results! X

Yeh, its so traumatising !! Try calling your G.P for your results, seems they get them fast from consultant!! Good luck , hope alls well with you too :crossed_fingers: xx

I was in the same boat for mine last year.

My second ever smear was on the 12th November, I had the letter for my results fairly quickly and an appointment for the colposcopy on the 14th of December.

Even I thought it was just to have a further check of the area but no, walked in, got told straight away I was having Lletz treatment, I was fully shaking after as I stripped down for it but the nurses were brilliant, the youngest held my hand to help me figure my breathing as the shock of having treatment there and then knocked me for six.

I didn’t ask to see the sample they took, it didn’t even cross my mind as I was struggling to stop my legs feeling like jelly to go get re dressed.

I felt conflicted after, really stuck between living in my head more than normal and feeling relieved that it was done and I didn’t get time to over worry, that worry kicked in later, and more so when I got my biopsy result, it wasn’t cancer which is good and I really hope that more of you ladies get the all clear as well if you’re still awaiting results.

What scares me though was the “but the cells show signs of CIN2” that bit is where I’m worrying and explaining it to my husband and friends that haven’t had this experience is not very nice.

But that’s why I’m so glad one friend did point me in this direction, I feel a bit happier knowing that I’m not alone in how I’m feeling x

I too feel glad to have found this forum and just knowing we are not alone in this. It is hard to explain to friends who haven’t had the procedure just how shocking it is and how it does really knock you for six.
I am still awaiting my results, I know chances of the sample being cancerous are slim so I think I’m prepared for it coming back as CIN 2 or 3 given that they said they already knew it was high grade abnormal from what they saw. I am glad they can act so quickly and this treatment goes far in preventing cancer. They are saving a lot more lives. But yes I think there are emotional and mental factors they don’t prepare you for the LLETZ treatment.
I am so glad of the forum, my inbox is always open to anyone. X