Treatment 'Survival' Kit - Any Ideas?

Cervical cancer treatment
1

Hi All

This is my first post, so I just wanted to start by wishing you all the very best with whatever stage of this really crappy journey you are on…reading your posts has given me so much encouragement and inspiration already.

I know I’m fortunate not to be posting for myself, but I am desperate to help my BFF who was diagnosed Stage 2 (borderline thankfully, with very slight upward spread away from cervix) in mid-January. Week after next, she start 5 weeks of Mon-Fri radiotherapy, concurrent chemo (Cisplatin) once a week; rounded off with 3 doses of brachytherapy during an overnight hospital stay.

My problem is, despite me being a ‘details’ person (did you guess? :relaxed:) - my friend is the total opposite! Although she has plenty fight and positivity - after the awful wait for staging, during which she convinced herself (and almost me) that she was ‘done for’ - she has no desire to read ANY literature (including the excellent Macmillan leaflets) or hear about/prepare for the possible side-effects.

She has a young family and is a brilliantly energetic, healthy-living, never-takes-paracetamol-for-a-headache kinda girl, which I hope will stand her in good stead for what lies ahead, but I know everyone reacts differently to treatment, so I’m terrified she may find herself totally under-prepared.

Anyway, the upshot is…I want to put together some kind of treatment ‘survival’ kit…the kind of thing that if she wakes up in the middle of the night and is too cold, too hot, can’t poo, can’t stop pooing, can’t swallow cos her mouth’s sore, feels sick, feels hungry, feels bored, pretty much anything - then there might be something in there to help, instead of having to suffer until someone can get to the shops in the morning!

So any ideas that you ladies have would be so, so appreciated…especially those who have been through a similar regime. I’ve told her to be absolutely open to anything that the nurses offer to combat side-effects but, knowing how much she hates to be medicated, are over-the-counter remedies generally OK to take eg. Imodium, Senokot, Corsodyl? For lounging, did you prefer PJs or trackies? Was feeling cold an issue? What sort of foods did you live off (or couldn’t stand!)?

Phew, that’s probably the longest thing I’ve written for years, so I’ll go now…any ideas - no matter how small - would really be great!

Much love and strength to you all xxx

2

What a lovely idea and what a brilliant way to help your friend!!

I would say Imodium personally I haven't struggled but plenty Do! Corsadil? I think that's how you spell it. The mouthwash. 

Boiled sweets, cranberry juice, lemon barley water, loads of magazines, a blusher for the pale days.... My friends got me a voucher to get my nails done and I really enjoyed that. 

im just over half way though the same treatment plan that your friend will have and I have coped okay up to now. 

I had a little bit of sickness in the first week but they will give you tablets to help With that but I found biscuits to be a life saver. 

maybe some ear plugs so she can sleep if there are going to be young children around 

hope this helps!! Xx

3

What a lovely idea and what a brilliant way to help your friend!!

I would say Imodium personally I haven't struggled but plenty Do! Corsadil? I think that's how you spell it. The mouthwash. 

Boiled sweets, cranberry juice, lemon barley water, loads of magazines, a blusher for the pale days.... My friends got me a voucher to get my nails done and I really enjoyed that. 

im just over half way though the same treatment plan that your friend will have and I have coped okay up to now. 

I had a little bit of sickness in the first week but they will give you tablets to help With that but I found biscuits to be a life saver. 

maybe some ear plugs so she can sleep if there are going to be young children around 

hope this helps!! Xx

4

A lovely nice water bottle as you have to drink loads...one with bling! Lots of trashy mags for the bored days! A book of homemade vouchers for nice treats e.g. a homemade chocolate cake, a walk in the woods, out for coffee, a home made meal, a trip to the beach, nails done, hair done etc. All so she can choose what she wants to do, and look forward to them???

5

Hi. What a lovely idea. I wouldn't get her any medication as the hospital will give her stuff as and when she needs it and it will all be free. 

I had a lovely blanket for when I was on the couch so maybe a nice fleecy one if she hasn't got one. 

I think that as she has a young family it would be helpful to her if you could help her out with the cooking do maybe a couple of times a week provide her with the evening meal for the family   especially on chemo days which are looooong. 

The other thing is to maybe take her children off her hands for a couple of hours if she is tired. It'll give her the chance to rest and not feel guilty as she'll know her children are fine.

I think the most important thing though is just to be there for her. Just to listen. 

6

Hi,

What a very lovely and thoughtful idea. Helping with the children/ meals/ ironing would I expect be massively appreciated by your friend and all are free. There is a really good site called not another bunch of flowers which also has some really good things for inspiration x x

 

7

Hi Astonmartini :slight_smile:

What an utterly brilliant username! Jealous! OK, your friend sounds very like me, crossing bridges when she comes to them and not before. Assuming that everything will continue to be pretty normal until such time as it is proven not to be. Your idea is very thoughtful, but do please tread ever so carefully. She’s had a whopping amount of control taken away from her and she probably wants to retain the rest. There may be a danger that if you start doing things for her that she hasn’t asked you to do she may begin to see you as something of a control freak? You know her better than I do obviously, but please take care, I’d hate to hear that the two of you had had a huge row about this.

Be lucky :slight_smile:
Tivoli

8

Hi again :-)

I've been bothered about this for a whole day & I'm really hoping that I haven't upset you. I was the youngest of a large family & no matter what I did somebody else had done it first and was going to tell me how to do it. Result? Zero self-esteem. But, I was the first and only family member ever to receive a cancer diagnosis, I was going into uncharted territory without a map and it was empowering. I have learned so much about standing up for myself in the last four years :-)

There's a book you could buy which she might find helpful. It would mean that you still look really thoughtful but by leaving her to make her own decisions you aren't taking control of her situation. It's called 'The Fabulous Woman's Guide Through Cancer' by Nicola Bourne and it's available through Amazon (I'd like to think other taxpaying outlets too ;-)

With love
Tivoli
xxxxx

9

Tivoli, I completely see where you are coming from  (& I am the youngest of 4 so I know what you mean there too!).

It is really hard to know what to do isn't it.  I took offence with virtually what everyone did or said because I don't like being given help or advice off people. Day after diagnosis my friend came round with sachets of coffee meant to prevent cancer. She thought she was being helpful but it irritated me. 

The only thing I really wanted people to do was to do nice things for my kids so that they weren't missing anything when I was tired. 

Oh and I also appreciated it when they brought me Cadbury creme eggs. Unfortunately,  I have eaten too many now and feel sick at the thought of them!

10

Thanks Philleepa :-D

HUGS :-)