Hi. This is my first time posting and i am just looking for a bit of advice/reassurance.
I was diagnosed stage 2b with lymph node involvement in january. I have had 5 chemo, 28 radiotherapy and 3 braccytherapy sessions, which finished on 17 March. Since then I have been in a weird kind of limbo. The results from my MRI that I had as part of my braccy were positive, my tumour was an eighth of its size, but I am now convinced its back and spread further. I am having niggling pains, that on a good day I tell myself are a reaction to what my body has been through, and on a bad day they are secondary tumours. I have my first post treatment appointment on Friday and am dreading it. Has anyone else felt like this??
thanks Becky x
Welcome to post treatment land!
I can only offer my own experiences. I am now 16 months in remission (had VAIN3 diagnosis in the middle of this but it’s not cancer so it doesn’t count right?)
My day to day life now is not taken up by worry, fear, etc. It was. And like you every pain was a prelude to death!
What I’m trying to say is, you are so ‘new’ you are going to feel like this. Of course you are. As time goes on you will slowly make more time in your day where cancer is not the uppermost thought! You will wake up and realise only after a coffee and a wee, that cancer has not crossed your mind. I promise you that will happen.
However, why am I in here at 2.30am? Because I’ve had ‘the letter’ and have a check up next week. I don’t think the fear ever goes away, it’s always there in the background. But now my achy hips and legs and back are not instantly a reoccurence they are probably a little too much gardening!
Tell your team at your check up how you feel. I am sure they will reassure you that it is perfectly normal to feel that way.
It will get better.
Hi Becky,
It's a strange old time certainly. During treatment you are in the hospital every day and have plenty of access to your team who can answer any questions you may have as they crop up. Then, suddenly, as soon as treatment is over you are all alone to try and get on with 'normal' life and it can be a real struggle. And then, just as you have settled into your stride you are called back for a check-up which reminds you that yes, there is a risk it has returned. These are scary times and we all get anxious before our follow-up exams. I can only try to reassure you that the anxiety does lessen over time.
Be lucky
Tivoli
Thank you both for your replies. It's good to know I'm not the only one that feels like this.
I didnt get much sleep last night worrying about today's appointment, but as you both say, it is early days and will get better over time.
thank you x
Hi. I am new to this site and have been worrying lots too. I had the 'all clear' on 24 April and was told to wait 6 months for my next colposcopy. I was apparently 'lucky' that they caught the cancer early and after two LLETZ procedures, they have removed my 6mm tumour and GGIN3 cells. I cannot seem to get the 'c' word out of my head and just wish I could have a spare moment of not thinking about it. Will it return? What if they've missed some cells? How quickly does the cancer spread? Are cancer cells grouped in clumps or are they sporadic? I have so many questions that are taking over my head and all I want to do is stop...I take it these feelings are 'normal' but can anyone shed any light as to how I deal with things and how to move forward. The waiting game until my check up seems like it's going to drag and I would be very grateful for any techniques to 'chill me out' and try to return to normal xx thank you in advance xx
I hope your appointment went well today Becky. Cathryn x
Hi Becky, I finished my treatment back in May 2014. I also had stage 2b node positive cervical cancer. 28 rad, 5 cycles chemo and 3 brachytherapy. It a strange limbo land when you finish treatment....your every day visits where you feel safe suddenly stop...you feel on your own. In a strange way I missed going to hospital every day, I guess it became a safe routine. I couldn't understand what would be happening to my body or the tumor now that everything had stopped. I had and still get odd pains, my bowels are a force of their own lol! I was a little scared of my first check up...it's normal to feel like that.
My scan results on my final brachy were just like yours...and the tunor just kept shrinking until my post scan last September showed no evidence of disease. I have just had my nine month scan yesterday, and I am going through the whole worrying process again waiting fir the results even though my clinic checks are all good. I don't think as cancer patients we will ever stop worrying. You will be fine Becky, keep strong and before you know it you'll be in and out of your clinic appointment with everything looking fine.
Stray strong Becky! Keep smiling.
Hugs Nicky xx
Hi All
I too wonder if every ache or pain is cancer returning. I think this is normal for us to think this. I am having achy breasts, pain in the groin, back aches etc.etc.
i requested a PET scan and recieved from my oncology Dr. I also got a private Breast Thermography done the day before the PET scan. This was done through a private clinic and not covered by any insurance. This was all done almost 3 months post "last day of radiation" treatment. I wanted facts not just someone telling me don't worry, we will test you in X months. I find if you don't ask for it you don't get it.
the breast thermography told me I have cystic breasts and has given me a baseline to which I can compare future tests against as to what is normal for me. I ask for a hard copy of all my reports so I can review and/or share with other doctors for a professional opinion. It gives me history going forward.
The PET scan confirmed that there was no cancer spread anywhere, confirming the diagnosis of cystic breasts AND that all my aches to date are probably a result from my cancer treatment and/or normal aging. I'm 56. Anyway the PET scan gave me a baseline as to what pains and aches are not cancer. So far it appears all of them. This is data that I feel gives me comfort and destresses me. I recommend you get as much scientific data, testing as you need to give you comfort and don't stop until you do.
All the best for you. You are not alone. I also fear every pain but evidence showing me that it is not cancer gives me peace of mind.
i had 5 chemos and 28 rads which ended in February 2015.
Thank you Cathryn, Nicky and foofighter. I really appreciate your responses. It is good to know that how I am feeling is normal and I'm not going mad!! My appointment was fine, more a discussion of side effects/hrt. They have booked me in for my scan on 22 June to see how treatment has worked so now gearing myself up for this. Am keeping myself busy and trying not to dwell. Love and well wishes to u all xx
Nicky hope your 9 month scan results were good xx
