Sorry - another long ramble, but writing it all out does help me process things so bear with me.
So to recap, I went for an examination under anaesthetic (EUA) yesterday so that my surgical team could try evaluate whether there is enough clear space between my cervix and bladder to allow me to have surgery. I know that at least 3 of them had a good rummage around in every possible orifice so I shouldn’t be surprised that I am still feeling rather sore and miserable today.
Anyway the upshot is that they are now saying that my tumour is bigger than 4cm so my staging is now 1B2, but as far as they can tell it is still all within my cervix. Apparently it isn’t showing up as clearly on the MRI as they usually do and they couldn’t feel much during the EUA (getting a bit tired of hearing that I’m unusual).
After I came round, I had two surgeons standing round my bed and they basically laid out the options for me and asked what I wanted to do. They kept stressing that all of the options have the same likelihood of curing my cancer so the question is about what side effects and consequences I want to risk.
I could opt for chemoradiation, which would deal with the cancer but obviously brings other risks around short and longer term side effects.
Otherwise I go down the surgical route, which they said would be keyhole with nerve saving. They would start my operation by removing lymph nodes and sampling and biopsying the area next to my bladder. If all of that appears to be clear then they would go ahead and do the hysterectomy, but if they found anything of concern they would halt the operation and I’d have chemoradiation.
The risk is that if they do go ahead with the surgery they can’t be sure that they’ve got it all until the full biopsy is done on what has been removed so if I have surgery I might still have to have chemorad on top, which is a lot to put your body through. I suppose in that scenario though I’m no different from any other woman with cc who has surgery.
For now I’ve said I’d like to try the surgical route but I left it with the specialist nurse that I would give it more thought over the weekend. She stressed that I could talk to her more about it and change my mind if I want. Think I will take her up on the offer to talk it through next week, particulalry as this plan means a change of consultant to one who is more experienced in this technique so I’m waiting to hear a new surgery date anyway.
Feel a bit more positive today after going to my first Jo’s support group meeting - really good to meet other women who have been through it and come out the other side. 
BTW I read a quote by Walter Elliot the other day which keeps running round my head, “Perseverence is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other” Keep on keeping on, ladies!
