Will be my 3rd colp and I am so anxious it is unreal.
I had my first last June, which resulted in immediate LLETZ. I've mentioned before, but I was unhappy with how the LLETZ was performed (felt violated, like I'd been assaulted and the nurse had burned me externally also) and I was beside myself when I had to go back for my 6 month check in January,
Well it's been a full year now since that LLETZ, and it's come round to my time to go for my 6 monthly colp....and I am struggling to find the courage to go :(
I have a different nurse doing it now, but I keep getting flashbacks to what happened, anxiety attacks and generally feel a bit of PTSD with this. I know I sound stupid, but I can't get out my mind how powerless I felt and it's really affecting me.
Does anyone have any tips on how I can work through this and go without bottling out? I was considering asking for a sedative but I think that sounds so bizarre...and plus I can't verbalise my real reasons behind why I want this as I find it easier to type than to actually say how this experience has affected me :(