The waiting is the worst!

Today has been a down day. Feel pathetic, all I want to do is lay in bed then Im like get up & fight woman! I have op Monday for bowels, bladder & cervix under GA - scared, worried, wondering what they will find! Put me at 1b1 but worried it might change! Keyworker said not to worry last week just try to stay positive until you know exactly what youre dealing with & then treatment can start. Easier said than done but Im trying to think of the positives but then my mind just goes in overdrive... what if its at a higher stage, what if its spread etc. I think Ive been worrying about my symptoms because I had bleeding during sex about 3 years ago now but was under 25 so couldnt get a smear! I know its slow progressing but worried its further along than they first thought... I really hope not! Sex has started to hurt again (was ok after Lletz), back pain, abdominal pain, no bleeding tho. I feel horrible as the ladies further along probably think I should think myself lucky so far but I think everyone worries no matter what stage. I think im worried to as read usually causes no symptoms until further along... hope all you ladies are ok. I need some motivation! Xx

I think the way you're feeling is natural and it is absolutely true that the waiting is the worse. After my LLETZ I was told they thought I had 1B1. Waiting for the a week for the MRI and then anotehr week for the results was awful, but I took some time off work and kept myself busy and dealt with it that way. The MRI confirmed it was 1B1. I then changed hospitals and waiting for that to happen was horrible too, but finally I saw a great consultant who arranged an ultrasound that day and a CT scan and EUA a couple of days later. I didn't worry too much about the outcome of those as I felt it was very unlikely anything extra would show up.

I'm now waiting for a hysterectomy and lymph node removal and have it in the back of my mind that something may show in the lymph nodes, though I know it's unlikely. I suppose having cancer is a worrying time no matter how we try to be rational about it. I sometimes feel irritated with myself for not coping better than I am, but on the other hand I know that I am coping well and am being too hard on myself.

My advice is to keep busy and keep positive. And don't worry about the EUA on Monday, you will feel physically fine after it and probably a lot better emotionally too. Good luck.

Thank you xx hope all goes well with hysterectomy. Yes I need to go out for a walk clear my head, keep myself busy - which I have been doing apart from last couple of days where Ive just felt rubbish so stayed in & played with my baby boy. Is an EUA the bowel/bladder op? Did they tell you results once youd come round? I know if its biopsys they have to send them off but hoping they can tell me something of their findings/ if all ok on Monday. Xx

yeah EUA, examination under anaesthetic was a look at the bladder and bowel. They didn't take any biopsies from me and the consultant came to see me in recovery to say everything looked normal. 

Ok thank you lol sounds obvious now! Keep me posted how you get on xx

Hi Chloe :-)

There will be plenty of time later on for you to thank your lucky stars, but now is not the time. You must not feel bad about being scared or worried just because there are other women in the world who have received a more serious diagnosis. We are all in this together and it seems that these days all stages are curable, so that is what you should focus on. Most definitely the waiting for results and staging is without any shadow of a doubt the very worst part in the whole process, so those of us who are past that stage can truly sympathise with the angst you are currently experiencing. Please don't feel bad about coming on here to express your fears because you are likely to get far more support and understanding on this forum than you will out there in the 'real' world. The whole purpose of the forum is so that we can all support one another so please don't feel bad about tapping into that :-)

Be lucky :-)

Ok thank you! I feel better today - good and bad days happen to us all I guess. Thank you - hows things with you? Xx

Good! I am glad you feel a bit better :-) Yes, we do indeed all have good and bad days. Personally, I am in very good health thanks and enjoying life to the full. My current woes are that my husband will have to go off for 33 fractions of radiotherapy soon and like Scoops, will need to stay in a hotel from Monday to Friday, and our favourite cat died suddenly yesterday. Small potatoes in comparison with some of the stuff going on out there with guns :-(

Be lucky :-)