As you all know i had my first smear test on monday & its been hell!! Im waking up throughout the night with this nervous panicky feeling in my tummy , i cant eat & i feel physically sick. The nurse said i have a 2-3 weeks wait for the results. Im on day 3 and i feel on the verge of a nervous & mental breakdown. I just need to know my anxiety is through the roof , i was being weaned off diazepam and was down to 1mg a day but the past 4 days ive been taking 4-5 mgs a day , i cant get a new prescription as this was my last & to make matters worse i think my body and mind are playing tricks on me im having pains all over my body especially back and tummy and legs , yet if i dont think about them i dont notice them . I just dont know how im going to get through the next few weeks & then i have the fear its going to come back abnormal or worse then i will have more waiting to do. How do you all cope with waiting? Im in such a bad place at the moment mentally i feel as if i just cant take this any longer and with the sudden death of my dad in december im still struggling to come to terms and accept his gone. Its just one thing after another and i have no peace from my mind or anything. I have been to my dr.s on many occasions they gave me cbt but it didnt help & my dr.s just dont seem intrested in me anymore atall dont wanna help me or anything . Im being sent for a kidney scan and recieved the letter yesterday & when i saw the envelope i thought it was my results my heart started racing , i went dizzy and felt so sick. I guess im just trying to vent and im so sorry if this sounds pathetic . I do need to pull my self together i know but i guess what im trying to ask is how do you get through the waiting without going mad or having a breakdown? Why is waiting the worse? I am very sorry if this offends or upsets or annoys anyone it is unintentional xx
Hiya... Just wanted to say hello and tell you you are not alone! I had my first smear back in jan something I didn't Actually think about When the results came my world changed within. Second! I had borderline changes and high risk hpv... Was refaceted for a colcoscopy and had a biospy 2.5 weeks in still awaiting results to see what next step is. This process has lasted overal 7 weeks it's made me very ill evwry niggle etc im on google im suffering with back pain, that travels down my bum nd legs they feel occasionally weak and feel like bubbles are poping in my calves (strange I know) to top it Off I just had a very dodgy period i am eating which is good being a very small size 8 as it is but have lost weight due to stress I think. These pains and aches have all come in since I recieved that letter ive driven myself insane thinking I have cancer and im hoping all this is in my head and when the results come hopefully clarifying my smear that it's only minor this will all go. And I can try and move on until my next test... I lost my step father in late November very very suddenly and still don't know why he passed away which was very distressing although wasn't my biological father he brought me up since age of three and I don't have a relationship with my dad tbh so it's like losing a dad completely that over Christmas and then this has put extreme stress on me nd I do feel all these niggles are probably anxiety the only thing I can say to u is do not qlrrt until your results! am I right in that u just went for a smear? It's not come back anything yet? Try not to let this take over your life! I'm sure it will be absolutely fine! try to relx distract yourself in a book or good film and before u know it results will be t upur door. I found shopping a good comfort and getting my nails done! I'm almost 3 weeks in now so only just over a week to go hopefully it's been exhausting and painful but I'm still here and have coped as best as I can u will do u will probs find one min your postive next u ain't. I have! But all part of the process it will be fine im sure and good going for a amear it's there to help us! Big hugs xxxx
Hi Stacey & Carly....I just wanted to send you both a bug hug and let you know that I'm thinking of you. The waiting really is torture....I got far too impatient with all of the anxiety and chased my GP and colpocopy clinic over the telephone....I received my results over the phone last Friday (after waiting 2 and a half weeks since my lletz procedure) but the actual letter didn't arrive until yesterday so i managed to shave nearly a week off my wait. :) It's definitely worth a try! I'm really sorry to hear of the sudden loss of both your Dad's...I can't even begin to imagine how you both must be feeling. You're both extremely brave. Love Vicky xx
Hi carly and vicky the wait really is torture , i just feel so uneasy , anxious , scared and nervous i just want to know now... Im so tempted to ring my dr.s surgery and see if the results are back but i know they wont be as i only had it done monday :(. I told the nurse my concerns as id be having lower back ache and problems with my leg , have been told its a trapped nerve in my back althought my back xray came back clear for no slipped disks. I was on the depo in august till october last year after having my 4th baby and bled the whole 12 weeks , then had on and off bleeding sometimes stupidly heavy till feb when i went onto the pill which stopped it within a day i then forgot 1 pill and a day after had heavy bleeding again for 10 days. it has now been stopped for coming up a month i stopped the pill a few days into the bleeding from missing the pill so havent had the pill for nearly a month i thought id let my body recover from the depo and the pill . I did tell the nurse about all the bleeding and she said it sounded prety normal especially the depo jab as it can take your body 6-12 months to get over it even from 1 dose. I so wish i had had my smear when i was called but i was pregnant with my 3rd child so was told not too and then having another child i totally forgot about a smear . I was very close to my dad he lived 5 mins away from me and i saw him nearly everyday. He had phoned an ambulance the night before he passed which my dad never would have done unless he knew something was seriously wrong in all my 27 years of life my dad never phoned an ambulance and very very rarely went to the dr.s maybe once every 3 years if that. The hospital sent him home the same night . From what we can gather the next morning he was on the way to our dr.s surgery and collapsed 2 ft away from the doors , the dr.s and nurses and passers by all tried to help him dr.s administered cpr till the paramedics got there but it wasnt enough and he passed away just outside the surgery. Unfortunatly he died at 9:45am and i didnt find out till 6:30pm that evening. It has turned my world upside down and its where my anxiety and panic have come from . Now having had the smear and symptoms im just worried its been left too late for me whichis a terrible morbid thing to say but with the anxiety from my dad death is my biggest fear . I do hope girls recieve your results and they are normal and clear . Im praying & begging to anyone who will listen up there that mine will be fine pathetic huh? lol xxx
Hi Vicky and Stacy.. Vicky thanks for the hug!! :) it's been a rough ride nd horrendous couple of months burying my dad exactly a week before Christmas was extremely tough! So sorry in your loss Stacy and how dramatic and life changing it hd been for you! My dad was fpuns dead in his apartment in kitchen with the tap running and what looked like he was going to make. Cup of tea.... :( he was only found 3/4 days free hai death we think so was there for a gpps while alone :( life just went by no1 herd of him we were all working but assumed busy life styles tale over and he didn't have partner so lived alone getting the door knocked in and he was found :( still no outcome of death it's been sent to a coroner we may never know why he died it was a heart Attack stroke or suspicious it's so strange and I just want to know so I can have closure I really hope his was in no pin and is looking over me!! It's awful isn't it? I try to find comfort in that if he had to go atleast it wasn't in a hospital or terminal illness where I watched him doe for weeks/months! It was sudden and he had a good life up until that point. Im sorry to hear of your symptoms could this ll just be stress related?? try to relax. It's hard I know but u have four little ones to keep u occupied!! How did your results go Vicky? Hope all ok! I think I'll call money actually that will be exactly 3 weeks to thanks girls and big hugs for u both xxx
Hi Vicky and Stacy.. Vicky thanks for the hug!! :) it's been a rough ride nd horrendous couple of months burying my dad exactly a week before Christmas was extremely tough! So sorry in your loss Stacy and how dramatic and life changing it hd been for you! My dad was fpuns dead in his apartment in kitchen with the tap running and what looked like he was going to make. Cup of tea.... :( he was only found 3/4 days free hai death we think so was there for a gpps while alone :( life just went by no1 herd of him we were all working but assumed busy life styles tale over and he didn't have partner so lived alone getting the door knocked in and he was found :( still no outcome of death it's been sent to a coroner we may never know why he died it was a heart Attack stroke or suspicious it's so strange and I just want to know so I can have closure I really hope his was in no pin and is looking over me!! It's awful isn't it? I try to find comfort in that if he had to go atleast it wasn't in a hospital or terminal illness where I watched him doe for weeks/months! It was sudden and he had a good life up until that point. Im sorry to hear of your symptoms could this ll just be stress related?? try to relax. It's hard I know but u have four little ones to keep u occupied!! How did your results go Vicky? Hope all ok! I think I'll call money actually that will be exactly 3 weeks to thanks girls and big hugs for u both xxx
I mean to say it wasn't a heart attack etc sorry bad grammar im on iPhone it doesn't like this website much xxx
I think it's a really good thing that you both have found each other in terms of the stark similarities in the problems you have faced recently....I am very saddened to hear of the heartache you've had to endure. :-( Stacey - My GP surgery had my smear test results back in 9 days so you could give them a call early next week? Although i do know the timeframe varies between different NHS trusts. Yes Carly, my results came back CIN 2 & all abnormal cells appear to have been effectively treated. I have to go back for smears and a colposcopy in 6 months which is routine.
Stay strong and positive...It's so so tough and the mind really does play terrible tricks on you but you've done a positive thing in getting checked. :)
Awww bless u carly thats terrible so sorry for your loss my dad also lived alone and i was always worried about him hated the fact he was alone but my dad was always so bubbly and happy and was a great man hes missed dearly as i guess yours is too. My dads funeral was the 23rd of december the day after my 3rd daughters 2rd birthday , they were not sure how my dad died as like i said he had been to hospital the night before he died. We later found out through the coroner that he had had fluid on his lungs and the left side of his heart wasnt working properly so the fluid couldnt be cleared due to his heart not working as it should so he essentially drowned in his own body ( as the coroner put it) which led the right side of his heart to fail. I do take great comfort in the fact that he was not alone when he passed he had 3 dr.s and 2 nurses there with him battling to restart his heart ( Mine and my sisters biggest fear was that when the time come he would be alone in his flat) . Although i do wish i had been with him when he died i had only just left the shops around 15 mins before he collapsed i never saw him though. And id love to think these pains and stuff are all due to anxiety but i just cant shake the negative thoughts that they are infact cancer . I also hope my dad is looking over me and going to make things be ok. Your journey sounds terrible hun and i really hope you do find out the cause of death. It should give you closure. It did me & my sister. Although occasionally while im out i see someone that looks like my dad and think ah theres dad!! Then i get that tummy churning and realise no its not dad :(. And even sillier i went christmas shopping after my dads funeral and wake and said to my partner oh i havent got dads pressies yet!! even though i had just left the wake. Its a very hard time and ive been told it does get easier it just takes time id love to know what your results both are. I rang my dr.s and no results they said i will recieve a letter in the post and i will get it before my doctors do!! So helpful huh lol xxx
Hi Stacey and Carly! Hope you are both keeping well. Have you had your results back yet? I've been thinking of you :) x
