im waiting to start treatment a week on Monday but felt a wee vent is needed.
im wondering if anyone feels the same as me. I expected to think about mortality and be thinking I'm in the fight of my life but it's the little things about cancer that I find throw my positivity off. Like today my friends and I had got a hotel voucher so hit the pool and spa area. My tumour is an angry thing that bleeds when touched so I'm too scared to use tampons plus feel smelly so basically sat by the pool in my shorts and t shirts, I miss swimming.
also I miss having a minor ache or I'll feeling and dismissing it, instead now I worry about every minor ailment and ache. I also now hate showering as terrified I'll feel something is wrong when I'm washing.
i know this prob sounds weird but it's these small things that make me sad, I just feel cancer has taken so much already. I know I don't sound positive but I am being and I know these sna things have to be put up with its just its those things that serve as a daily reminder!
sorry for the rant girls just needed to vent