im 35 and was late for my last smear I was having smears every 6mths for about a year! No reason given other than I had changes! I got my last reminder well over 18mths ago but at the time my granny was dying and my son then 12 had lost a very close friend when she died at school! So smear tests and my health was the last thing on my mind, then as time went on I think I was worried that I had left it two long and was scared to go! Anyway in June this year I went for my smear and a few weeks later I had letter back saying I was being referred to the hospitail, last week i had a colposcopy right after the doctor was telling me she would have my tests back in a week and would phone me with results, this made me think right away that it was being fast tracked and wasn't going to be good news! So a week on 25th August 2015 I'm told I have CC stage 1b !! Although I think they can only tell it's stage 1b until I have my scans, my scans are booked for this Monday I already have my results appointment for 14th of septetmber! From the second I found out iv felt sick, terrified my scans are going to show its far worse and I'm going to jump from stage 1 right to 4!! iv been told I will probably need a radical hysterectomy. I can hardly look at my two kids without feeling guilt for now following up my smears! My daughter is 18 and my son is 14, my friends always make fun of me and say everyone loves there kids but your obsessed, everything I do in life is around or for them the thought of being ill and not being there for them or even worse is driving me mad! And just to make things a wee bit worse in 7weeks time we were all due to fly to Las Vegas for me and my partner of 13 years to get married! Iv to wait till 14th to see if we might still get to go or if it will have to be cancelled along with our reception for when we return. I hate this!! I cry all the time (mostly in the bathroom so the kids don't see me) I hate that I'm feeling sorry for myself and most of all i hate that I'm about to upset so many people when they find out I have cancer. Iv spent days reading all your posts and comments and you all seems so lovely that I decided to write something! I always talk too much and seem to do the same when I write it goes on a bit! I don't really know anyone who has had cancer I just know that my whole life now seems to be about cancer and it terrifies me!