Hi Everyone

im 35 and was late for my last smear I was having smears every 6mths for about a year! No reason given other than I had changes! I got my last reminder well over 18mths ago but at the time my granny was dying and my son then 12 had lost a very close friend when she died at school! So smear tests and my health was the last thing on my mind, then as time went on I think I was worried that I had left it two long and was scared to go! Anyway in June this year I went for my smear and a few weeks later I had letter back saying I was being referred to the hospitail, last week i had a colposcopy right after the doctor was telling me she would have my tests back in a week and would phone me with results, this made me think right away that it was being fast tracked and wasn't going to be good news! So a week on 25th August 2015 I'm told I have CC stage 1b !! Although I think they can only tell it's stage 1b until I have my scans, my scans are booked for this Monday I already have my results appointment for 14th of septetmber! From the second I found out iv felt sick, terrified my scans are going to show its far worse and I'm going to jump from stage 1 right to 4!! iv been told I will probably need a radical hysterectomy. I can hardly look at my two kids without feeling guilt for now following up my smears! My daughter is 18 and my son is 14, my friends always make fun of me and say everyone loves there kids but your obsessed, everything I do in life is around or for them the thought of being ill and not being there for them or even worse is driving me mad! And just to make things a wee bit worse in 7weeks time we were all due to fly to Las Vegas for me and my partner of 13 years to get married! Iv to wait till 14th to see if we might still get to go or if it will have to be cancelled along with our reception for when we return. I hate this!! I cry all the time (mostly in the bathroom so the kids don't see me) I hate that I'm feeling sorry for myself and most of all i hate that I'm about to upset so many people when they find out I have cancer. Iv spent days reading all your posts and comments and you all seems so lovely that I decided to write something! I always talk too much and seem to do the same when I write it goes on a bit! I don't really know anyone who has had cancer I just know that my whole life now seems to be about cancer and it terrifies me!

Kindest Regards

Nicola x

Oh sweety I'm sorry for what your going through, it is a horrible scary time, I myself haven't got cancer my results cakes back as cin2 but the worry and the crying is all very normal and your allowed to, don't feel guilty when you cry, you are in the system and the best place, the drs know what there doing and I wish you all the best of luck for the future, we are all here to listen and talk, its an amazing place for support! Sending you love best wishes and a speedy recovery and good Health... Sky x

Hi hunny you have come to the right place for advice and a chat I have four beautiful kids aged 18/14/5/10months I have just finished my treatment for stage 2b it was 5 weeks radiotherapy and 5 cycles of chemo then 3 brachytherapy I am now going through menopause but treatment was not as bad as I Thourt I have no side affects apart from the menopause the waiting is the worst part try and keep your self busy there will be more lovely ladies along soon to give you some advice you our not alone take care and good luck for your scans big hugs xxx

Thank you both for your kind words! It really is true that it helps to talk and to listen to what others have to say! And also to know that others are going through the same as you x

Hi Nicola

So sorry to read of your diagnosis and what you are going through.  2 years ago on the 2nd September I was diagnosed with stage 1b1.  I was told at my appointment that they thought it was 1b1 and this was confirmed by the MRI.  I had a radical hystercetomy 5 weeks after I was told I had CC (the consultant was on holiday) so I'm thinking it could be possible for you to go ahead with the wedding - it is a slow growing cancer and I wouldn't have thought that amount of time would make much difference.

I was lucky, it hadn't spread into my lymph nodes and my margins were clear so I didnt need any chemo or radiotherapy.  I'm currently on 4 monthly check ups, had my last one 2 weeks ago and all is good.

I felt just like you in the beginning, the worry and waiting is awful but you will get through this, one step at a time.  Once you have your treatment plan things start to feel better and you feel more positive, strange but true!  You'll get lots of help and support, both from the hospital and from the amazing, strong ladies on this site.

I agree that at this stage your world does feel as if it's been taken over by cancer but that feeling doesn't last and and life does get better again, quicker than what you think at the moment.  When I look back now, the last 2 years have gone by so fast.

Please don't hesitate to pm me if you have any questions.

Big hugs


Hi Cheryl

thank you so much for your reply and your kind words!! I'm going to sleep tonight after reading this feeling much more positive, your comments have taken the edge off that horrible panicked feeling I keep getting!! I'm so glad to read that your doing so well now. I need to focus on looking forward to that day! 

Nicola x


I know how your feeling. Its a scary surreal place, and the guilt of telling other family members is hard but it isn't your fault. If your 1b then it will of take a long time to get to this point. I was diagnosed the same level, and am now post of from a RH & Lymphetcomy. In total, it's been 9 weeks to accept the diagnosis, wait for scan results, which I too worried so much about but histology is pretty good at staging, so try not to overthink. Unfortunately after my op, my results showed one lymph node so I am having chemo and radio. That was another shock, but its highly likely you will just need the RH. This type of call cancer is slow growing. So i hope if it's possible, you can still travel. 

I have three children who I adore and hate the fact I'm so slow and restricted at the moment, but it's not permanent and after all the treatment. We are going to book a fab holiday. Plan something good for after, once you have recovered. pm anytime & good luck 

Hi Nicola,

So sorry to hear what a scary time you're having. In fact cervical cancer isn't half as scary as you might think, and it's very treatable, look at all of us hanging around here! :-) I'm with Cheryl on this. I think you can have all your scans and tests and what-have-you and they can work out your treatment plan but save it all for when you get back from your very special trip to Vegas and your big home-coming reception :-)

Be lucky :-)

Thank you so much for your reply! Today iv woke up feeling much better and everyone of these messages seems to help so today we are going to have a family day, shopping out for dinner then the cinema all the things we should of been doing more as a family! I wish you lots of luck on your road to good health!

 All the very best to you and your family

Nicola x 

Hi Tivoli

Thank you for your reply! I think if we were able to just put all this to the back to our minds and get away for that week it would do us good having time together as a family! 

I think its all the waiting and wondering that's hard! but fingers crossed! 

Nicola x

Hi Nicola,

I totally agree with the positive advice from all the lovely ladies on here. This is by far the worst time for you with the waiting and uncertaint, but I can assure you that it will get easier once you know what you are dealing with, as I was in the same situation as you back in March. My treatment finished at the end of June for 2B CC, having had 28 Radiotherapy, 5 Chemo, and 3 Brachy. I can honestly say that it was no where near as bad as I had feared, and found the support from the fantastic ladies on this site incredibly helpfull and reassuring.

Best wishes and big hugs to you, xxx

Hi Diane

Thank you for your reply and best wishes! 

Had my MRI & CT scans today so I'm another step closer to my results! Still the thought of having to tell my kids and family makes me feel ill, I wonder how much I really have to tell them! Anyway two weeks today I will know what I have to deal with! 

Wishing you all the very best! You really all are a lovely bunch I'm so glad I found this site!! 


Nicola xx

Hiya, I am sorry to hear your news, the way you are acting is completely normal! My consultant told me the same as you, that I was avout a stage 1b but until I had my scans, they wouldn't know for sure, my scans came back as 1b1 so my surgery could still go ahead. I am only 25 and this was the result of my very first smear test, I also have 4 children aged 9, 7, 4 and 1...It was the most scary news I had ever heard in my life and all I could think about was that I was going to leave my babies! It's an awful feeling and nothing can take your mind off it...Everything just revolves around it now...The best advice I can give you is the most cliched one, that is to take every day as it comes, don't think about what could happen tomorrow, or the next day, just remember that you got through yesterday and that you can get through today :) 

Hi Nicola 

i see u have had lots of responses but just have to reply as I remember so vividly where you are now.  I am a 2a with node involvement and am just finishing up the first bit of treatment (last chemo yesterday last radio Monday hooray) before brachy. I really struggled with the staging bit and the waiting as I felt so helpless and out of control.  I can echoe what the girls say in that once u know exactly what ur planning and what the treatment is things do get much better.

it will be your decision but cc is slow growing and if u and ur medical team can accommodate your wedding I would try to as unfortunately cancer does take a lot and change your life so I always think planning things and keeping life normal is my way of saying f u cancer!

im glad your feeling brighter and more positive and will say this site is amazing, I have met so many ladies and when I have had questions and rants they are always there.

im wishing you all the best for results, treatmENET and impeding nuptials!!


ps have a cry when you need to I find it helpful then I regroup and say  going to beat this!

lots of hugs and thoughts



Thank you for your kind words and advice!

reading each comment reminds me others are going through the same, im struggling with this at 35 so to hear you are only 25 Make me feel so sad! life can be so unkind!

I wish you all the very best with you treatment and hope you have a fast recovery! 

Nicola x


Hi kimmy 

Thank you so much for your reply! Your kind words have came just at the right time as not feeling the best today! I seem to go from high to low in a matter of minutes!! Anyway tomorrow is another day!! I'm so happy to read you are nearing the end of your treatment or at least the end is in sight, I pray for the day I can see the end to this! 

I wish you all the very best! 

Kindest regards & hugs 

Nicola x

Cry it out when you need to honey, it's surprising how much it helps. Each stage of the journey is tough and everyone is different. Treatment does seem to be very successful whatever you have so hold on to that. I'm 36, married with 2 children. Stage 1b2 adenosquamous carcinoma with slight lymph node involvement. Start chemoradiation on Monday for 5 weeks then 3 brachy after. Gutted about menopause but I guess it'd be due in a few years anyway huh. 

Keep us informed on your journey, each story helps many others cope.

Much love




Hi Louise 

Thank you for your message! I have just a week to go till I find out results of my scans I feel sick just thinking about it! I wish you all the very best with your treatment and hope you are doing as well as can be expected! 

Be strong

Love & Hugs

nicola x