Terrified

Hi sorry in advance this may be a long one!!

I had a smear test in feb this year which came back normal- all fine and dandy no worries!!

In about May/June time I started having irregular periods- so I popped myself along to the doctor who assured me it was nothing to worry about and changed my contreceptive pill. That seemed to sort out the irregular bleeding!!

A couple of montha ago I noticed that I was bleeding after intercourse (not a lot) so after trying to ignore it the best I could I went back to the dr's again where he performed an internal examination.

After that he said I think you might have a thrush infection but I have noticed it does look a bit 'lumpy' come back and see me in 2 weeks. So off I trot this morning to go and have another internal. So he sits me down and says ok so your cervix looks a bit lumpy and inflamed and I can see some red patches so I'm going to get you checked out!!!

At this point my mind is just running wild and I don't know what to say... So I ask do you think it could be cancer and he says I don't know I'll send a referral and you should be seen for a colposcopy within 2 weeks.

So far i've managed to convince myself that I've got a high level tumor and that I'm going to die. I'm not asking anyone to reassure me but I'm just asking if anyone has been in the same position- been told they have a clear smear bit then after an examination theor cervix doesn't look as healthy as it should.

Also with all the evidence stacking up against me could it possibly be anything else but cancer?

thanks for taking the time to read this know it is a bit long winded

xx

I absolutely understand your fear.

You don't say how old you are but if you have kept up to date with smears and they have always been negative that is a HUGE tick for you.

No one can say whether it is cancer or not. But rest assured that CC take years to develop. So if, and it's a big IF, it is cancer it will be in early stages, especially considering you had a clear smear in February. Your doctor is doing the right thing by refering you. You will be given a colposcopy where they basically can look at your cervix through magnifying glasees.

A couple of weeks after my Op my best friend had bleeding after sex. She had a similar story to you and was sent for a colp. Hers was an extremely bad thrush infection. I know the wait is terrifying but don't write yourself off yet!!

It could be any number of things and your doc is doing the right thing. xxx

 

 

Thank you so much for the reply. I'm 32 and I've always kept up to my cervical smears and they'be never shown any abnormalities- so as you say that's a good sign. I just keep kicking myself that I should have asked the doctor more questions! But my mind just went blank and I did the very British thing of politely thanking him!!

it's just good to know that others have been in the same position as I've been struggling to find experiences of women who have been referred for a colposcopy after bleeding and an examination rather than through the abnormal smear route.

again thanks so much for your support it really means a lot! 

I had a similar experience with my smear I had some bleeding, I was told it looked a bit inflamed and agitated. Like was said previously cc is slow growing and you have had regular smears. I have seen cases of infection, inflammation and all the pre cancers cause mild symptoms that may make you think it's cancer. Unfortunately I was diagnosed with cc but with regular smears this is rare and mine was high up in the cervical canal. My colposcopy appointment came through fairly quickly and my results were back within a week. Try not to speculate as the odds are it is not cc. Take care xx

I have recently had a simlar experience, had exam at Dr's due to bleeding after intercourse. Dr said it looked red and referred me for colposcopy. Had my appt in just over a week as it was sent through as urgent. Panic! However  Dr said it was just ectropian (erosion) which is nothing to worry about. He did see a small white area which he biopsied to be on the safe side but said it was probably nothing and the bleeding was down to the ectropian rather than small abnormality. My last smear was 2.5 years ago and clear. My friend also had similar experience,  she had a colposcopy following referral from Dr's after abnormal bleeding, they did a biopsy and said it was just inflammation, no abnormal cells. Try not to worry too much a lot of the time ot turns out to be nothing serious.  x x

Thank you so much ladies- your support has really rallied me round I feel so touched by your kind words it's been such a draining day but you've made me feel so much better.

thank you for your experiences and kind words it really does mean a lot xxx

Hi everyone,

Being terrified is so debilitating isn't it! Believe me I know. Reading through the entire forum it's interesting to see that all of us are afraid when we don't know and most of us are loads and loads calmer when we do know. Even when 'knowing' means knowing we have cancer and even, in a very few cases, knowing that it will be terminal. I'm not really going anywhere with this I am just sharing with you my thought that having cancer is not as bad as not knowing whether or not you have cancer. Does anybody have any idea why that might be?

Sorry Evie if you feel that I have hi-jacked your discussion, I have not meant to do that, my intention was only to let you know that we all know how awful it is to feel terrified, we have all been there and you have our complete sympathy.

Be lucky

Tivoli

I think it's just a fear of the unknown, it's soo much scarier thinking you might have cancer than actually knowing. I think it's the reassurance that you know now, you can deal with and there will be treatment. It's all in the mind. Everyone has good and bad days facing cancer and I think a lot of the fear is of chemotherapy/radiation/hysterectomy/loosing hair/catheters for me lol is also very daunting. Not so much the cancer but the process. Xx

Just an update so as you know I was referred to the hospital yesterday and this morning I got my letter with an appointment for Tuesday- don't know whether that's a good thing (that I'm being seen so soon) or a bad thing (they think its that urgent I need to be seen ASAP)....

Who knows? Maybe they are just quiet at the moment. But great news you don't have long to wait too long. The waiting is the worst. Do let us know how you get on.

To echo others comments about fear of the unknown I totally agree.

What has always worked for me is to imagine the worst all the way through, therefore i already 'know' what they are going to find/say. I'm always then relieved when I get any news because it's never as bad as my mind has imagined!!! Probably doesn't do my nerves any good but kind of works for me!

Hello again Evie,

Good luck with your hospital appointment tomorrow. I think that on the whole it is better to be seen quickly than to be waiting around for ages. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are seriously ill but it does mean that you are in the system and probably have access to information about yourself sooner than those people who are just waiting  .  .  .

365days - I understand the princilple behind imagining the worst and then getting a pleasant surprise when the news turns out to be not so bad after all, but do you really do that to yourself? And do you succeed in tricking yourself? Or do you find that underneath all that you are actually telling yourself 'it's not that bad really, it's only a trick I'm playing' ? I am asking because I am often surprised by my reaction to various bits of news no matter how well I prepared myself.

Go Well

Tivoli

Thanks I will let you know how it goes- this weekend has been pure torture I've not been dealing very well with anxiety. Part of me just wishes I could go back to pre Friday but I know that this is something I have to do. i just hope to god that it turns out to be not that serious- I keep telling myself I had a clear smear in feb so that's a big plus sign.

 

 

Just an update- today was the dreaded day! I went to the hospital expecting to hear the worst and by the time I was seen I was a gibbering wreck! The nurse and doctor who I saw were absolutely amazing I had a colposcopy done and the doctor stared that he could see some raw patches but felt that these were due to cervical erosion rather than abnormal cells. So I had a cold coagulation procedure done and was sent on my way.

i can't explain the relief I feel and recognise that I'm so so so so blessed I really am one of the lucky ones. these last few weeks have been horrendous and your support and kind words have really got me through. Before I went today I wrote a list of things I would do if I didn't have cc which included setying up a regular donation to jo's trust and stopping smoking so my focus now is to complete that list!

i really really want to wish you ladies all the luck and best for the future I really hope you get the outcomes you all deserve

thank you so so much xxx

Great News!!! Really happy for you. X