Terrified..

Hi everyone,  new here and just looking for a bit of reassurance I suppose.

I turned 25 in September and had my first smear done in early October.  I have PCOS and came off the contraceptive pill in July, more to see if my body would ovulate etc naturally.  It hasn't, and I've recently been put on Metformin to try and kick start my 'natural' cycle.  So after all this nonsense I just had a feeling that my results wouldn't come back all clear.

Sure enough, I had a letter telling me about cell change abnormalities, etc and I would receive a further letter with a hospital appointment for a colposcopy.  My appointment was yesterday, and I got to watch on the screen where the nurse showed me the area around my cervix that was affected by HPV.  It looked like quite a lot to me, and she basically told me that in her opinion I will probably need treatment but that the lab will confirm this after looking at the 2 biopsies she took.

Needless to say, I am now completely overwhelmed by all this.  It's easy for them to say 'oh in young people it's usually nothing' - what if it ISN'T nothing??  Nobody seems to understand why I'm fretting about this so much because 'it's so common' and 'it'll probably just be something that they need to monitor'.  I know everyone says to think positive but that's what I've been doing up until now and look where it got me.  I'm not an overreacter by any stretch of the word but I am absolutely terrified about getting a letter telling me that my cells are precancerous..then what?  I have to have them removed - will this make my chances of conceiving even lower than they already are? 

Sorry for babbling on, I just needed to vent to people who are/have been in the same boat as I am.  I hate not knowing..

Hello hun! I can totally relate to how you're feeling and I understand your worries. I too had my first ever smear this year in October and thought everything would be completely fine as I've never ah any symptoms or any reason to think otherwise. I got my results back as 'abnormal' and stated 'low grade dyskariyosis' and evidence of HPV. I was then referred for a colposcopy, I was a mess! I didn't know what to expect whatsoever. It actually really wasn't that bad though - she explained I had the high risk type HPV which worried me even more! As she was examining me, she asked if I wanted to see the screen but I said no, I didn't know if I would like what I'd see so I decided not too! Although I could totally see it behind her on the computer anyway lol it looked normal from what I could see. She explained that she thinks it's just the HPV virus that's present - but she took 2 biopsies anyway! I have to say though, the waiting really is the worst part and you will see hundreds of other women would agree! I went to London and spent some time there while I waited for my results which took my mind off it. Even though it was always still in the back of my mind! I got my results anyway which confirmed CIN1 and that I didn't need any treatment and they referred me back to my GP in 12 months time for another smear. I was so thankful of my results that it wasnt anything worse! But.. Now I have to wait a whole year not knowing if the cells are resolving themselves or progressing into something worse. They say because of our age, our immune system usually can sort it out for us and it takes roughly around a year (possibly 2) to go back to normal - I think that's whg they sometimes use the 'wait an watch' approach. If the problem persists then they offer treatment. Don't worry though hunni, they have you in their system and they will keep a close eye on you. CC is a slow developing cancer which can takes years to develop. So even IF and that is a massive IF, it is anything to worry about then they will do the necessary treatment and remove the cells. I am guessing that because they didn't offer you treatment at your colposcopy that they may not be too concerned at the moment and want to wait for your biopsies instead of doing unnecessary treatment. Even if you did have treatment, the chances of it affecting your fertility is very very slim. Dont worry hun, at least not at the moment anyway. Just keep yourself busy! All easier said than done I know! Sorry for the long post - I went on a bit I think lol but just want you to be rest assured. Best of luck hun!! Xxx

Hello!

Thank you so much for your reply.  It really does sound like up to this point we've had the exact same sort of experience!  I feel so much better hearing this from someone who has actually been through it - it's all well and good for my boyfriend to tell me it will be fine but I just find myself thinking 'you have absolutely no idea'  although with hindsight I think he was just at a loss of what to say, and so he went for the 'think positive' route!

You genuinely have made me feel better about the whole thing - I know that it doesn't necessarily mean that our results will end up the same, but to know that yours seemed really serious and then turned out to not be as bad as you thought gives me a bit of hope that there's a chance for me.

Up until that point I was an occasional smoker, but after hearing the lecture and seeing what I saw - needless to say I am never smoking again.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply to my post - you've really helped.

You're more than welcome hun! Sometimes the results from the smear can give misinformation - it's only until they examine you properly at the colposcopy that they know for sure. Luckily I stopped smoking over a year ago when I fell pregnant and haven't smoked since! Thank god! It's totally normal to be worried hun, so many women are in the exact same boat, and a lot of the time - the results come back fine like they did with me and I didn't need treatment. It may be the case with you too hun :) so try not to worry yourself. I didn't get my results for about 3 and a half weeks after my biopsies and they say 'no news is good news' good luck hun!! Glad I made you feel more at ease.. If you wanna talk anytime you can always message me. Xxx

Thank you, that realy means a lot!

I feel a little bit better about the whole thing now, just got to wait and see what happens.  Strangely enough, after the slight bleed I had after the biopsy, which was mostly dark in colour and in very small amounts, it had seemed to stop bleeding.  I woke up this morning to discover a fair amount of bright red blood.  Not sure if this is a continuation of the biopsy bleed, or if my period has finally come after all these months!  Sorry for TMI but I am so excited if it is my period!!  Perhaps the biopsy shocked my body into doing something!!