Terrified - whilst waiting

hi there

i had my second ever smear just over a week ago and the first  I heard of results was a phone call from colposcopy clinic.

terrifiend is an understatement ! I work in my local hospital and am currently working on our cancer ward so know too much anyway. And I've obviously gone and done the worst thing possible and googled it all. I've been and spoken to the clinic ahead of my appointment on Monday and they've said I have abnormal moderate level cells so likely hpv and will likely need a lletz. Two days later I still feel completely exhausted form crying and terrified of the c word ! Everyone has been amazing and I know a lot of women get abnormal cells but yet again another daily mail story today has scared me more !! 


any advice !?! Or words of wisdom before Monday ?



I don't really have any words of wisdom but couldn't read and not reply, my lletz procedure was not as bad as I had expected nor were the affects of it after, don't get me wrong, there was discomfort but no where near what I was imagining, good luck for Monday and try not to worry (I know easier said than done) x 

Hi Clare, I found out I had high risk HPV & high grade CIN2 changes after going 5 years without a screening.  Like you I went home & googled & scared myself stupid before my LLETZ, convincing myself that they would find cancer during the treatment as I had left it so long in between my smears.  As it turned out they removed it all & there was no sign of cancer, I now have to go back in 6 months to make sure more abnormalities haven't developed.

If you have been told you have moderate changes I would take it to mean exactly that, you have moderate pre cancerous changes that are extremely treatable & will be removed long before they become cancerous.  I know how hard it must be not to worry when you are dealing with cancer on a daily basis, you must be understandably terrified, but just keep drumming into your mind the facts - it takes about 10 years for cervical cancer to develop, & pre cancerous changes like your's are successfully dealt with in 95% of cases, the success rate is extremely high!

Now you have found this site, stick to it, you will get lots of information & advice from women who are dealing with this, & are having good outcomes - the stories you find online all tend to be worse case scenarios which in reality are thankfully quite rare.

I went into my LLETZ very scared & tense, which made it quite a long, painful & traumatising experience, & it definitely didn't need to be - usually they may be a little uncomfortable but should be painless.  Try to go in calm & relaxed so it will be over as easily & quickly as possible.

I am sure you will be absolutely fine *hugs*, let us know how you go.

Try not to panic! Easier said than done I know! I had high grade-severe cells and hpv after my 2nd smear as well (first 3 years ago was clear). I had my smear and the results came back as that so they called and got me booked in quickly for a colp and a lletz (didn't know ow I was having that till I got there!) I was really upset and so worried when I found out I was high grade, but honestly it really wasn't that bad once I got to the hospital for the procedure. The nurse was wonderful and calmed me down so well. And the lletz wasn't painful and was very quick.  It's natural to worry,  but remember yours are moderate changes, and even if it turns out they are severe (which I highly doubt as this is picked up in the smear) then it's still very treatable and not half as bad as it all seems before you go in. Xxx