Terrified of having a smear....anyone else had the same experience?

Almost 4 years ago I had my first smear test, I wasn’t worried about going and booked it as soon as I received a reminder. I wasn’t a virgin, although my sexual experience was limited and I hadn’t been in a relationship for a few years prior to having my smear.
Unfortunately it was the worst experience of my life, it was painful at the time and although I bled slightly I didn’t think much of it. Around an hour later I suffered severe bleeding, no amount of padding would stop it and it continued for hours, I went back to the doctors who then sent me to A&E via an ambulance, to this day I have never really had an explanation as to what happened or why. I haven’t been in a relationship since, the thought of anything coming near that area now, makes me anxious. I am now almost a year overdue for my second smear test, I discussed my fears with a nurse who I began to feel comfortable with and maybe even trust enough to do it, only to return for an appointment a few weeks ago and she had left. Any confidence I had gained about going has now gone and I feel as though I am back at square one.
I have also discussed this with my own doctor who has said he could prescribe me something as a one off to calm me down a little beforehand as even talking about it makes my whole body tremble.

I guess I am just in need of some advice, because there seems to be no explanation I can not be sure this won’t happen again, I am absolutely terrified. I am not naïve to cancer and I understand the importance of having regular smears but physically I do not know if I can go through with it.

Has this happened to anyone else? please help!

So sorry you went through that. I know how you feel. I dread going every time. My first pap was at 19/20 and didn't go back until I was 31 because the first time hurt so bad! Even the last time didn't feel that great during my colposcopy and biopsy. My suggestions are to ask if they can use a small speculum with lube. deep breaths can help. Try to stare at the ceiling.  Best of luck! 

I apparently have an akward cervix and a long vagina... sorry to be crude but theven are thexpected odd things you learn. even when getting into the most akward positions nurse at my g.p. struggled to do a smear and I felt awful afterwards. I don't know if it's an option for you but I live in a city with a large sexual health department. after failed smear at g.p. I went to them and booked one. they had an array of speculums and found one that worked well. now I ask for a long slim one and explain past problems. it still is uncomfortable but no whereply near as bad as having different ones used with out sucess

Hi guys, ive just joined so I can comment on this thread.
I have the same probem, im terrified of having a smear even though i know I need one asap as ive not had one since i was 18, im now 39.
Im terrified, I had my first at 15 as that was what happened back in my day when you went on the pill, it was uncomfortable but bearable.
I was 18 when i had my first child, they decided to give me a smear test at my 6 week check as I was due anyway.
I had an episiotomy when I had my first child so when it came to having this smear I was still loaded with stitches down below, the smear hurt me that much i passed out.
Ive been terrified ever since and I dont know how the hell im going to get through this, I know i need one but the thought of even so much as booking an appointment makes me panic and get pins and needles in my face and I cant breathe.
When I was 22 i had my son, during that pregnancy I had internals because there were pregnancy complications, after every one i fainted, i just go in this panic and am so upset because im frightened ive got something but darent go and get checked.
Obviously the pain from having the smear at 18 when i had stitches in still has scarred me and ive no idea how the hell im going to try to change this.
Any ideas to help would be great, peopletell me to relax and breathe but I know that its going to take more than that, id rather be knocked out and have it done but i dont suppose thats going to be an option for something thats quick, does anybody know if i can have it done at home, im clutching at straws but that might make me feel better instead of going to the doctors