Telling the boyfriend...

Hi everyone, 

So the usual post I suppose... 24 years old going on 25, went for my first smear test a couple of weeks ago and just found out I have low grade changes and high risk HPV. Completely beside myself with worry just waiting to find out when my colposcopy test is and can't believe this is happening to me. 

Anyway, I have a wonderful boyfriend who I've been with for 4 and a half (faithful) years now, and I'm just so worried about telling him. I'm worried that somewhere, deep-down, even if says it hasn't, his opinion of me will change. I keep thinking about what I would think if he told me had an STI, and I'm not sure how understanding I would be (I know that sounds awful).

I hope this post doesn't come across as too self-centred (reading it back it seems such a trivial worry compared to what other people are going through) it's just one of those things I'm worried about, and curious about too I suppose. 


Has anyone else had to tell a boyfriend/partner? How the hell do you go about it? And from a medical point of view does that mean he has HPV too?

Thank you for any help, these forums have been so informative x

hi hunni my dr told me it's not an Sti it a virus thys very common is women, also remember it can lay dormant in your body for many many years without it showing itself, my dr also told me that it wouknt added my partner in anyway... I've read lots into it, it's not like having clymidia an other things so please don't worry, read into it together an you'll understand it more! It's not dirty and it's not from sleeping around (as some people think) I found telling my partner very easy we studied and learnt about it... It's that common it's what teenage girls have the injection for at school... Please don't worry about things your in the system and they will get you sorteded good luck xxx

Hello there. I think it's important to make sure you know a bit about what hpv is so you can explain it to him more easily. Firstly there's no need to refer to it as an sti (people generally feel uncomfortable at the thought of having an sti). Although I suppose technically it is an infection that can be transferred through sex, around 80% of people will get hpv so most people you know will have had it, including him. It doesn't mean you've been promiscuous or unfaithful, it can lie dormant for a very long time. Most of the time our bodies clear hpv just like it would clear a common cold but in some cases the hpv can cause abnormal cells to develop. Depending on the severity of these abnormal cells they may need to be removed. Borderline changes refers to a very small amount of cells that are usually left to go back to normal on their own, the purpose of the colposcopy is to make sure the smear was accurate. So if you explain you have hpv, an infection, which your body hasn't been able to clear, and there's some abnormal cells on your cervix that you need to get checked out, I can't see how he wouldn't support you. Hope that all makes sense. Xxx

Skyteague32 and Jojo84 - thanks so much for the replies, makes me feel a hell of a lot better about breaking the news and it's another thing off my mind. Xxx



:) hope it goes OK. Xx