Tears today

I thought i was coping with things quite well, had my colposcopy on monday and booked for letz on 28th April, i couldnt sleep last night, why is it your brain goes into overdrive at bedtime? I got up messed about on the laptop for a bit then went back to bed. Today i couldnt hold the tears back, my family arent good at understanding this stuff so i tend to keep my worries hidden but today i cant. I know what to expect, its my second lot in six months for High grade changes plus a HPV + result this time but i cant work out whether maybe the surgeon missed some cells last time or theyve grown back in which case should it have happened that quick to get to cin 3 again? I was referred to a different hospital this time, i have no idea why only that the hospital i went to before has had a lot of bad press lately which also scares me slightly. I would have been having the lletz on the 15th but due to a booked holiday in scotland they said it was fine to put it off till the 28th so i have it the day after i come back.This hospital rang and gave me dates for the letz the afternoon of the day i had the colposcopy so at least i'm not having to stalk the postman like i did last time, what a rollercoaster, Heidi