Support needed

Hi Ladies,


I'm new to this site and hoped to gather some strength from you.


Early in December I went for a smear (I haven't been for 6years) I know very stupid! however previous to this smear i have always had normal results. Anyway in December i was told i had severe/high grade dyscariosis and needed and urgent hospital appointment.  To cut a long story short after worrying myself sick i went to the hospial and had my coloscopy appointment. When I got there the nurse discussed the my smear result and said there could be or might be an early cancer, she said she would know more when she had a look at me. I was so worried as I was told by my doctor that these changes were precancerous. Anyway she did her work and said from what she could see there was nothing giving her major concern however i had to wait on the punch biopsy results. Over christmas i have been worrying out of my mind cancer would show, however i got a call on the 30th saying that i had cin 2 and needed to come back for the leep treatment. My womb pipeline biopsy was clear.


After hearing this i felt much less worried and managed to refocus however as I was due my period when they gave me the appointment and I rescheduled the nurse called me back and said i needed to ensure i attended as they haven't ruled cc out due to the smear and need to do this last biopsy. This has set me back over again worrying so much so i made an appointment with my DR today to talk it over he said whatever was there is treatable and worst case after the leep i could be heading for a cone biopsy or have the cells frozen. He said though it may not even come to that it depends on how deep these cells go. He also said these cells are precancerous and that they need to be treated to ensure they don't develop into cc in the future. I explained to him i am getting marrie at the end of the year and i am terrified i won't be able to have a family he said he is nowhere near worrying about that. When i said the nurse mentioned an early cancer he rolled his eyes. He said cervical screening is so successful as it picks up changes and treatment is there ready for those who may need it, he siad the only problems occur when people don't attend for many many years.


I know there as so many brave ladies on here who have been through so much more than me however as I have have been up and down with information i needed a little support as i am stuggling emotionally to cope. My other half is trying his best but he can see me torturing myself with worry and feels helpless.


I am booked in next tues 20th for the leep and i am so scared it is going to be so painful under LA i had 4 punch biopsys and pipline done with no lA.


I am making myself ill with worry.