Struggling with intimacy since smears

I am 28 and have been in a long-term relationship with my partner for 4.5 years. I’ve had 4x smears and 2x colposcopies since I turned 25, with the colposcopies investigating low grade cell changes. They haven’t returned since which is great, but I have had HPV from every smear test I’ve had.

I don’t have any issues with my partner, I know how the virus can lay dormant and I have no concerns about unfaithfulness or anything. He’s learned more about HPV from us having conversations and doesn’t seem to be phased by it.

I, however, really struggle with intimacy. I can’t help but feel “dirty” having this, and I’m still worried I’ll get him sick somehow. I also worry that we’re passing HPV between us and that my body wont get rid of it.

I adore my partner and want to get past this, but I don’t know what to do or where to turn to. I’m really embarrassed talking about intimacy with any doctors or my counsellor.

Any advice, insights, self-help etc would be amazing! <3