Well it's been over 3 wks since lletz and results were 'only' cin3 but I still feel quite down. My ott googling has done me no favours and I feel overburdened with info and statistics. In fact I have prob confused some if the percentages along the way! On one hand I feel like the lletz may have done more harm than good- I've never had gynae probs before but the bleeding still hasn't stopped- one day is worse than the next and so on. I'm pretty sure I've skipped a period as haven't had any steady bleeding consistent with a period. I keep having an ache in my cervix which feels worse if I stand up too long. My aunt was diagnosed with ovarian cancer the other day and I'm selfishly worrying if that is my future or if my family are susceptible to cancer!! I'm angry that the hpv is prob still in me- why don't they screen the other parts it causes cancer?! I feel entirely sure that I will never have sex with my husband again which will obviously affect my relationship. I'm already worrying about the follow up check and dreading somebody looking at and touching what's left of my cervix. I feel like I can't move on.
Sounds like you're having a horrible time of it. I had my LLETZ done 2 weeks ago today, and I can't feel anything different from normal now, so perhaps you should go to see your GP, or give the colposcopy unit a call? Getting pain now could be a sign of infection, as could the increased bleeding.
I don't think there's any evidence of there being a hereditary element to CC, so you're probably not any more susceptible than the next person, if that's any consolation.
It sounds like the whole thing has affected you very deeply psychologically, and you should probably mention that to your GP too. It's good that they have removed the bad cells to keep you in good health, but not good if it ruins your relationship with your husband in the process. These things have a tendency to build up in your mind if you don't do anything about them, so the sooner you find some help, the better.
I had hypnotherapy before I started all of this, mainly to try to deal with a severe phobia of anything medical, but I do think it's helped me generally to relax about the whole thing and to keep it in perspective. I'm not saying that's the answer for you, but it does sound like you need to talk to someone, even if it's finding someone on this site who has had similar feelings afterwards and can help you
Thanks Elise, I did hypnobirthing with my daughter so agree hypnotherapy can really help. Unfortunately this all happened quite quickly and it didn't occur to me- I just went down the beta-blockers route! I stopped taking them after the lletz though. My friends have told me to go back to dr but I'm worried about jumping on the anti- depressants train! Tbh I think I do need something as I can't stop thinking about it- I go a few days without crying then wake up crying and feeling like I can't breathe. Sounds dramatic, sorry! I've just called dr and no appts left but the receptionist is gonna ask dr to call me. I doubt he'll prescribe anything over the phone tho. Am sick of feeling so miserable. Thank you for your kind words x
Ah, my hypnotherapist does a lot of work with people for childbirth too - I'd never heard of that before, but maybe it's more common than I thought. If you've already had good results from it, maybe it'd be worth going back, to see if he/she can help you to work through what has traumatised you so much and hopefully help you to leave it behind you. A lot of the work mine did on the phobia involved going back to traumatic situations and working through them, trying to take away or at least reduce their significance.
I thought it was amazing. At the time that the colpo letter arrived, my phobia was such that I have fled hospital car parks in tears (without making it into the building) and that was only when picking someone else up, not even anything to do with me. In one session she got me to the point where I was quite calm for the colpo, and I then went back for a second session before the LLETZ, as I had mine under GA and was pretty scared about being put under, even if it is only for 10 mins. Anyway, my point in all this rambling is that she made me think about stuff that I didnt really know, or perhaps didnt acknowledge, was bothering me up til then, and it definitely helped a lot.
Hope you don't have to wait too long for a doctor's appointment, and that it puts your mind at rest about the aches and pains you're feeling.
Take care and I hope you feel back to yourself again soon
PS it doesnt sound dramatic btw .... when I first found out about all this, I spent days and days in tears, and felt like I wanted to pull my insides out of my body and throw them as far away from me as I could, because I couldn't take what they were doing to me. So I totally understand what you mean. I have had none of those feeling post-hypnotherapy though, thank goodness
I've always been terrible with medical stuff- after having a not so great experience at the hospital when having my son, I used to avoid driving past it for years! Out of interest, I've just phoned a hypnotherapist so was wondering how much urs charges? This one said £70 per hour or 5 hours for £300. She said after talking to me that I'd prob need 7 hours!!! Hope she takes credit cards! X
mine charges £65 a session and she pretty much dealt with the phobia in one session! The second one was my choice, because it was my first ever hospital procedure and also first GA so I wanted to do all I could to not freak out!
So 7hrs sounds like a lot to me .... there is a cognitive hynotherapy website (google it) which has a find a therapist bit on it. That's how I found mine. Maybe it'd be worth checking out some others too?
Sorry I can't be of more advice for the psycolgical part, but all these womens suggestions sound like good avenues to explore. About the pain, if you are worried, go get it checked out, but after my first biopsy I had only a bit of pain that got worse a few weeks after, when I went for my lletz I told the doctor that I was now worried about it spreading etc because of the pain (I had cin3) but she explained that it was probably part psycological and also that to remember the cervix is basically a muscle, so as it starts to deeply repair that you would of course expect pain, like after your muscles repair after heavy exercise. Please don't worry if you can!