Stress of waiting..

I'm trying to be better at just being patient and living in the moment, but my anxiety  flares up around follow up times!

See... For so SO LONG I ignored things - I'd been too scared to go to the ob-gyn, so I just never went - ever. I'm 36. Until the the beginning of 2016, when the excruciating pain that had left me almost bedridden for a good portion of time had me FINALLY go to the OB. She saw the mass right away and told me she was going to stop the exam because she saw something very concerning and abnormal, & was referring me to oncology. My oncologist said my tumor was so big, it was hitting all my nearby organs, which was why I was in such incredible pain. He also said the tumor had probably been growing for 10+ years. Undecided

So I guess after ignoring symptoms for so long and knowing that cancer was growing in my body for so many years without causing almost any symptoms (until the last 6 months) makes me feel almost crazed about any symptoms I have following the cancer. 

How do you all try to not think about it and feel crazy?? I have to have check ups every 3 months, and I've only had 2 since the cancer's been gone, but it seems I start feeling on edge about the next follow up a month or more in advance.

Sorry for the lengthy post, I'm just having a quick and useless freak out, waiting on call from doc, so I'm rambling. My apologies. 




Ur not alone in ur anxiety on follow up time, it's only natural  to feel scared, I don't know the answer to how to make it better I think it's just time.

Sorry I couldn't give more support but didn't want to read an run 

Take care 


I had my MRI scan today. Follow up Friday. I find the build up worse than actually getting there. Once you walk in the hospital doors you have to put your brave pants on. I listened to Madonna , The Immaculate Collection during my MRI- it really raised my spirits! Wink