Strangely calm........

Good afternoon ladies,

Well I didnt expect to start 2013 this way goes- a bit about my situation, last summer I started having heavy bleeding between my periods which I saw a doctor about straight away, they put it down to having just come off the mirena coil and my system was balancing out...tranexamic acid was prescribed.. a month or so later the bleeding was more often and heavier so once again I went back this time I was referred for a ultrasound and swabs which happened very quickly and came back showing nothing, saw my usual doctor to get the results and he basically sat there with his arms folded and told me I was the wrong age when I questioned him over getting it checked properly as I was concerned about cancer he waffled on about it just being my cycle adjusting and prescribed a 3 month hormone tablet to adjust my cycle- so off I went and took my tablets like the doctor told me and still I was bleeding...On 10th Jan 2013 I made an appointment with a different doctor at the surgery who happened to be female!!!! explained to her my symptoms and all the tests and tablets I had taken along with the fact that my smears had always come back normal including the one in Jan 12 - but she did something none of the others had done - she had a look and yes there was something visible on my cervix- so she made me an urgent appointment for a colposcopy which I had on 17th Jan - I think I new before I even went for the appointment it was cancer and yes I was right, on the 21st I had an EUA and CT scan  and they have staged me at 1B2 it is above 4cm but from the CT and when they had a good look it seems to be isolated to my cervix only, I am having my MRI next monday and then meeting with my lovely consultant next thursday to discuss the treatment plan, I already have a date booked for a radical hysterectomy but they said on monday that it will probably be treated with chemo and radio therapy.I have just turned 39 on tuesday and have been with my wonderful man for 22 years we don't have children (we were just about to try) and I feel strangely calm about the whole situation I am very lucky to have some very good and strong friends and family around me but I would also appreciate in hearing from you lovely ladies who have been here before me incase I need to wake up and smell the coffee!!

Keep smiling ladies :-) x

Hi there - welcome to the rollercoaster. Strap in tight!

Firstly, well done for sticking with it and getting a proper diagnosis eventually. Hopefully someone at your GP’s gave that original doctor some ‘feedback’ about his approach to diagnosis in your case. What a nightmare. The main thing is that you are in the CC system now and my experience is that once that happens, things move along fairly smartly, although it can still seem like forever when you are at the eye of the storm.

All the tests take time but the waiting in between is awful and I found that I had periods of calm and periods when I felt less so. It’s all normal. My advice would be to enjoy the calm, try not to get ahead of yourself and to be kind to yourself if you have days when things are a bit more emotional.

I found this forum to be incredibly useful for venting and for learning from and sharing with others who really understand what’s going on. Friends and family try but we really understand what its like.

So, best of luck to you and do keep in touch. We’re here whenever you need us. xxx

Hi NNS, 

I understand exactly what you mean about the calm. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer at the beginning of October 2012. I had a radical hysterectomy and have recently had the all-clear. In my experience, there are all sorts of things that you think you'd feel if you got diagnosed with cancer but actually, when you do, it's not like that at all! I think the calm that you describe is partly shock - it's so much to take in that it's probably unrealistic to expect yourself to be able to fully accept what's happening. Don't be worried about the calm - it's possible (in fact, likely!) that your diagnosis hasn't hit you yet, and it might not for some time. I am the same age as you and the way you 'talk' reminds me of how I was when I got diagnosed - very factual - it's information overload and a complete whirlwind when you get diagnosed and just dealing with the practicalities of what's happening to you is a lot. If you do have an rad. hyst. it's even possible that what's happening might not even properly sink in before you have the op! I know that sounds odd, but the mind is an amazing thing and has its ways of protecting you. For now, you need to deal with what's happening on a day-to-day basis, and it's fine to do that. You don't have to think about the 'bigger picture' if you're not ready to or if you just don't feel that you're there yet. There is no 'right' way to feel and there is no particular way you 'should' be feeling - you feel how you feel, and at the moment, you feel calm. That's fine. It might change. That's fine too. One day at a time, and be kind and gentle with yourself. 

Take very special care, 

Annabel. x