Hello Kitty. I totally understand what you mean about 'lucky' ladies being stage I as I too struggled to find ladies of stage 4 like myself. After a while I went straight out there, just posted asking for ladies of my stage to please respond to my messages - I was getting a bit desperate! But I had replies from fantastically brave ladies of stage 4 they are out there!! I think sometimes early stage ladies are scared to reply to us because they don't know what to say. Maybe as you described them 'lucky' and so would I in a kind of way, not meaning it in the true sense of the word but if you're gonna get it - this is the stage you want to be diagnosed at, right?? who wouldn't agree with it in that context.
For you Kitty the trick is not to write yourself off - all the stage 4 ladies I've 'met' are doing fine in a fashion, and I'm sure they will tell you that themselves if they come across this post. We do like to support each other as I feel we're in a 'unique' group the bravest of the brave, being hit with this damned diagnosis.
Everybodies treatment plan varies though most will experience surgery, chemo, radio, brachy or all of these like I did. We all react differently too, some have it real hard, some have it ok, others are somewhere inbetween.
As your treatment plan involves chemo you will more than likely lose your hair. For me it didn't become such a big deal. I had a fantastic wig supplied by Macmillan. I don't think I worried too much about it because I felt it was the least of my worries and I knew it would grow back; you may have the same attitude about it - I found it very liberating actually - my 'hair' sat beautifull every time I was going out - just had to pop it on!!
As for being sick or nauseaus, I was nauseus for about the first few days immediately following chemo. As the days went on I felt better & better until I was due another cycle. During that time I was able to go out & about as 'normal - me & my new hair. I did have some constipation but they arm you with ,all sorts of medication to keep you on top of that. Other side effects can be mouth ulcers/sores but I had none of that.
The other worry for you as you say, will be that of infection, especially if you're exposed to it at the kiddy groups or if your baby picked up a bug & brought it home. Maybe you'd consider not taking baby to these groups for the duration of chemo at least?
You might suffer all or none or just some of the side effects, none of us ladies have exactly the same experience of the treatments, so I'd say go into it knowing there's a chance you'll experience some effects, don't 'expect' to have them all! Hopefully they will be mild and you can cope.
Let us know how you get on.