So scared of my treatment

Hi everyone,


I’ve been diagnosed with cc 2B just recently. i am from the Netherlands and there is no online comunity available so I Googled and found this ace. i’ve been doing a ton of Reading here lately and finaly decided to create my own account.


I was diagnosed because I kept spotting after my baby girl was Born last march. Had an apointment at my gynecologist to Make sure the spotting didn’t come from having a section.


little did I know. She examined me and I starten bleeding heavily. She said my cervix didn’t feel Right and didn’t look good either. She mentioned cc right away wich completely shocked me. This was on August 8th and within five weeks I’ve had all the scans and colposcopy. 


Mri showed three suspect lymf nodes but these were not visible on my pet scan, and there is a slight spread in my parametrium. 


They Will still treat my lymf nodes as beeing cancerous and Will also Zapp my para aortic nodes ( extended field) just to Make sure they got it all 


My treatment of 6 chemo and 25 radio plus 2 24hour pulse rate brachy Will start this coming wednesday and I am petrified 


I got the medicine bag today ( emend, ondansetron , primperan, lorazepam, magnesium and loperamide) and I almost lost it. So scared of becoming verry sick and not beeing able to function.


can someone please ease my mind, and give me Some tips on how to handle and overcome this? 



Hello Izzy welcome to the forum. I am a 2b patient myself. I finished treatment June 2018 and am doing well and enjoying my life! My advice would be just not to get too far ahead...take each day as it comes and take help and support from your loved ones. Also I would say drink plenty of water and use e45 on your radiation areas. Good luck with your treatment and feel free to reach out to others XX 

Izzy, I was scared too but you’ll get through it . Don’t be scared for brachytherapy I did two overnight stays for it for a total of 4 brachytherapies. It wasn’t at all as bad I had imagined.treatment is long but it does end. Get some comfy clothes, drink lots of water and cranberry juice. I got these hard ginger candies that worked really well for nausea.the first two weeks aren’t bad at all about week3 my bladder got irritated so I had to make sure to drink lots of water and monitor it . I too had extended field radiation and didn’t really get bad stomach issues till my last week but the loperamide will fix that. I started on a probiotic yogurt after treatment ended that helped with stomach issues.i used hand warmers on my veins on chemo days so they wouldn’t have trouble with my veins, that helped a lot it gets pretty cold in the chemo room.and your veins do not like the cold .in the beginning half the week you’ll be constipated and some days you’ll have loose stool, but you kind of learn how your body is going to react on certain days and u just take the meds.i started on a Wednesday too the Chemo side effects usually kicked in on Saturday and Sunday. Try to rest , you can do this! Hope everything goes well, if you have any questions feel free to ask. I did a post about the 2 overnight brachytherapy experience.

Hey lovely, 

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s really such a hard time but try not to be scared of treatment. I’m currently in hospital waiting for my brachytherapy.  Everyone responds to the treatment differently, I had 28 external radiations 5 cisplatin and haven’t had a single physical side effect so far, I panicked so much about chemo and it was fine, I did drink the most obscene amount of water on chemo day and the two days after. I made lots of smoothies with spinach as I’m prone to getting anaemic and made lots of meals for the freezer in case I didn’t feel like cooking but didn’t want junk food. 

A radiographer said to me the kinder you are to yourself at the beginning can change how you feel at the end, rest as much as you can, don’t over do things, and hopefully you will be fine.

I had my list of radiotherapy appointment times and everyday I crossed one off the list as that list got shorter it helped me stay focused and positive. Then Every Friday to celebrate being a week down the hubby and I would have a non-alcoholic bottle of bubbly to celebrate (I’d have preferred the real stuff but I gave up alcohol and caffeine for the treatment), I found the small things kept me going. So maybe pick something you like to do or have and use it as a reward for getting through, it’s good to have things to focus on. For me my battle has definitely been mental.  

Everyone you meet will know exactly how to help you with anything you may struggle with, just tell them, no matter how small it is they are there for you.

 I could never get my bladder right, coz even at 600ml I don’t feel full so I had to partially empty a lot, my pelvic floor has never had so much exercise! I found it mentally very hard, and had a dark time about week 3, I found relaxation apps and breathing techniques really helped.

Your treatment is aiming at a cure! Try to focus on that. It does work lots of women on here are success stories. 

Massive hugs, we are all here if you ever need us. 

Love Emma xx 

Girls, thank you so much for the vote of confidence and your tips and tricks. They really do Make all the difference.


I barely slept last night, woke up every hour from weird dreams and nightmares. I truely hope my treatment Will be kind to me since I have a six month old to take care of.


Will be buying saltines, coke, and ginger tea/candies/fresh ginger as well as aloe Vera.


I’ll ask my radiodoc if it’s useful to take probiotica during ttreatment.




Fitst chemo down! Wasn’t bad at all, just a long day with many trips to the bathroom.


first radio down too. This was quite an ordeal because my bladder was way too full. Had to get dressed again, empty half my almost exploding bladder, get back, undress, align, and again bladder too full. Get dressed, pee again, wait for 15 minutes, undress and align, and finaly they performed their Zapp.


fingers crossed that I Will get through this properly. 

That’s great to hear 1 down. Yeah I hate the whole bladder thing, having to get it just right. I think towards the end I had a bladder complex lol where that’s all I could think about. On chemo days I would pee like 10 min before my session because it would just feel up so quickly with all the fluids they give. Try not to stress you will kind of get the feel of how much you need in there .

Well done on completing day one!!! Totally with you on the bladder problems, always worse on the chemo days where I think I spent most of my time peeing lol 

i just never got the bladder thing right, one time I went and let out 250ml went back and was fuller than I was before lol the radiographers got used to me in the end I was usually 3rd time lucky :)

I just made sure I was always well hydrated so I never had to wait too long to refill. I found time went quite quickly once treatment started and it’ll be over before you know it. 

Much love Emma xx 

Goodmorning, Thanks both again for your replica, they mean the world to me since I geel like such an outsider amongst my friends. 


They are all so kind and positive but they havent got a clue aa to what it feels like ( thank God for that) 

Woke up a few times feeling a bit shakey and off, figured thats the dexamethason doing it’s job. No nausea yet ( my biggest fear, I am fobic for nausea and vommiting, and am terrified to spend the next month and a half critically ill)


i’ve been Reading Tivoli ‘s and lolli’s and Philleepa’s stories as wel as Petdragon ( the fab ladie that Has overcome cancer twice). Their stories and yours give me so much hope that I too Will be okay.


Much love ,


And please excuse any grammar or spelling issues, English is not my first language so please bare with me :) 

You are doing amazingly well already as you’ve taken the challenge head on. Well done you! 

Just know we are all here with you- no matter where we are in the world! Xx

Hey Izzy,

Your English is brilliant much better than my Dutch would be! Autocorrect on this site is just terrible for some reason. 

You’re doing great, Just keep going, take each day at a time as lobule said and if there is something that is bothering you, mention it to someone and they will try to help. I wasn’t sick with chemo, I think their drug combo worked brilliantly for me but I saw people who weren’t so lucky and straight away the nurses were using different anti sickness and trying to make everything as ok as it can be.

The steroids made me wired and sleeping for long periods was impossible I just had a nap whenever I got too tired and was pretty lazy my entire treatment it worked well, not so easy with a little one, but try sleeping when she sleeps and don’t worry about house work. 

Try not to over do it and be kind to yourself the mundane parts of life like cleaning etc can wait it’ll still be there once you’re done. 

The women you mention are inspirational, reading their stories when I first joined gave me such hope, and that they are still here giving advice and support shows what wonderful people they are. You will get through this, this treatment works and it works well, at time it’s unpleasant but try to focus on its success and stay as positive as you can, you’ll be done before you know it. 

This forum is the best, so anything you may need to ask or are just curious about there’s someone here whose been there and can help. 

Good luck with day 3!! You have got this!! Stay strong! 

Love Emma xxx 

A little update on my end. 


After my first chemo I felt quite good, no nausea wich for me is a big deal, I am really fobic when it comes to vommiting. 


Unafortunatly I had a major bleed two days after my first chemo and three radio blasts. I had to be admitted and they stuffed me with gauze to stop the bleeding, I wasn’t allowed to use the pills ( tranexamine acid) I was provided   Before treatment because they could cause clotting combined with cisplatin.


After two days the packing was removed and the bleeding had subsided , unafortunatly my blood count was way too low and I needed a transfusion wich Made feel better instantly.


I was discharged right after my second chemo and booked for another mri for radio-planning . 


i got a call from my radiologist and he told me they could already see a decrease in the tumor. After 6 blasts and 1 chemo the tumor was measuring 37 mm instead of 44 so this was a major positive phonecall. 

Also I don’t have many side effects from the chemo ( not feeling sick at all thank goodness) so this gave me a real positive boost


I still feel very scared about the suspect lymph nodes they told me about early on although they didn’t show up on the pet scan. 


And I am terrified of my brachy therapy. Good thing it’s four weeks away. I’ll have a chat with my consultant about it tomorow, it’s becomming this huge thing in my mind 



Hey izzzy!! 

What a fantastic update, shrinkage already woohoo!!! You’re doing amazing! I hope you are very proud of yourself for getting through such a difficult time. 

I am so sorry that everything seems to be going wrong but your oncology team seem to be totally on topof things.

Keep the positive thoughts going not matter what, your treatment is aimed at being a cure and it’s sooo much better to focus on that. 

Well done you amazing woman keep kicking cancers butt!!! 


Love Emma 

Thank you Emma, hope you are having a fantastic time in Japan

Apart from melting with the heat (I am so much more a winter person lol) I am having a blast thank you!! 

I hope very much everything keeps going wonderfully for you, it will be worth it in the end.

much love to you, you’re doing amazingly xx 

Hi Izzy, 

 sorry you had a little set back , but I’m glad you’re pushing through and doing good. Great to hear there’s already shrinkage , that’s wonderful news! Do you know what kind of brachytherapy your going to have? Weekly or altogether at the end? I thought brachytherapy wasn’t so bad , I thought it was easier than external radiation, I didn’t have the stress of having to get my bladder just right. Keep us updated, glad you’re ok!

I’m supposed to have two 24 hour sessions of brachy, one in three weeks ans the other in four weeks from now. They scare the living daylight out of me :( 

I was scared too, it’s a scary thing to think about. Especially when you read online certain things, but for me it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Try not to think about it and I hope your doing well.

Chemo three down and 12 radio blasts done. Halfway there. 


thankfully I don’t have many side effects so far,  counting my blessings. Fysically I am doing fine so far but mentally I am in a horrible place. 


So scared of what if this doesn’t work, what if it had spread already but didn’t show on my scans. Dreadful. 


My oncologist told me to not to worry, that I have all the more reason to be positive. She said the pet scan was clear, no signs of lymfe nodes involved or spread anywhere outside the pelvis. She said there was no lvsi present in my biopt and the mri I had after six days of radio treatment already shows a good response to treatment. 


But still, I am so scared that I wont be able to see my six month little girl grow up.