So confused and scared since colposcopy

Hi all,

sorry this is going to sound so moany and long winded so be prepared haha. 

I’ve previously had 1 screening in 2016 which came back all clear. Then this screening in March which came back cin1 with HPV. Obviously that’s a shock in itself. Was referred to colposcopy on 10th May. I thought I’d read that if during the colposcopy they think you need treatment they will deal with it there and then. So I figured whether the easy way or the hard way by the 10th I would be dealt with.

To be fair the consultant and nurses were really friendly and warm. But I am absolutely confused and obsessing over the experience ever since. The consultant did his thing and was really positive and basically was just like everything looks good except one bit on one side which he took a biopsy of. So I was quite happy thinking with the consultants attitude that everything was probably ok and maybe need treatment but nothing worth fretting over. So went back into the office and he just said any questions. And I said so everything looks ok then and he said no from what I can see it’s more severe than your initial diagnosis! That is literally all he said followed by any other questions. I was so shocked! I should have asked so many more questions but I was speechless and just left lol. I fainted in the car and cried like a whaling banshee when I got home. My sister came with me and in the car was like ‘how did that go from everything seems fine to absolute downhill spiral’ and that’s what the experience was like. 

Now I am so scared and anxious. He literally would not have told me that if I hadn’t asked and in 2-3 weeks would have been mortified with the results! 

And I think well if he knows it looks worse why not just treat me? I’m thinking does he think it’s cancer to not treat me, not tell me anything and take a biopsy? 

Also I am absolute wimp and since Iv had time to mull it all over- as straightforward and quick as it is the whole thought of being conscious for the LLETZ procedure is making me crazy anxious. I really want to be put under general as long and slow as that may be. 

Has anyone had similar experience? And have any advice other than try to stay calm? Haha

Thank you 

I had my lletz treatment last Tuesday after receiving confirmation of CIN2. Try not to stress about the procedure; it’s over very quickly and any discomfort is over in a flash. If you are very anxious do let them know as they will do everything they can to help you. I think the worst part is the waiting and not knowing; I think the anxiety around the whole experience is often underreported. I found it spiked after the procedure as I now have to play the waiting game.

You need to be as kind as possible to yourself. It might help to remember that this is a good thing; you’ve gone for your smear and they are going to remove the risky bits! Far better having this now than it being left and turning to cancer. Furthermore CIN 1 isn’t cancer; at that stage CIN1 can resolve itself with no treatment. It’s posdible the consultant meant it could be more like CIN2, which still isn’t cancer and very treatable so don’t panic!! X