So confused and anxious, please help

Hi everyone
I wont bore you with my history of smears, I have r=written it all in a previous post, but this is really getting me down now.

After lletz for severe cells in 2006, I have now had an hpv positive test and CIN 1 confirmed.

I have been in a monogamous relationship for 14 years. I have not been exposed to a new strain of hpv. The positive test must have been dormant and having had terrible stress for the past few years, may have become active again.

When I went for a colposcopy after a smear showed borderline changes - however, this was all normal.

Can anyone explain why the colposcopy was normal but biopsy CIN 1?

I am very confused by the difference been dyskariosis and CIN?
Going out of my mind with confusion and worry.

Thanks so much.

I feel like this is so scary because none of it seems consistent or to make a shred of sense.  At least that is my experience--and apparently yours.  Of course, I'm even more confused--I am in the US and we do not even use the same terms, so I am not going to try to say what's normal or not normal.  Except that I think feeling like this whole ordeal seems extremely confusing and contradictory and inconsistent is normal.  Be good to yourself.  I wish I could say something to ease your concerns, but I am not a doctor and would be guessing and considering I have done enough of that with my own case and keep coming back to crazy and nonsensical conclusions about the whole ordeal, I am definitely not going to start doing that for a stranger on a support page.  But!  It is comforting to know there are other souls out there who are feeling helplessly confused and lost like I am and bogged down with all the crap that doesn't seem to add up with this fiasco.  I got AGC results and I don't know the subclassification, so I've gone down a TON of rabbit holes tonight (even reading about how breast cancer grandular cells can show up on pap tests and cause AGC results).  So, I'm lost too, if that helps....  ((hugs))