Smear test today

Hi everyone.
I’ve just come back to this forum after years away.
I just thought is share my back story.

I’m 40 now. When I was 25 I had my first sexual partner. 3 months later I had my first smear which was CIN1. This was before the tests now that test for HPV. I had a colposcopy and was then booked in for Lletz which I had under local anaesthetic.
The results took about 4 weeks and showed it wasn’t cancer. They kept an eye on me with colposcopy tests every 6 months, then eventually I went back to tests every 3 years.
Between 2009 and 2022 I think I’ve had one result with slight changes but they went back to normal on their own.
I had my usual 3 yearly smear last year and it came back as positive for HPV but with no cell changes. They requested a repeat sample this year, which I just had done today.

My life has never been easy. I have suffered from terrible mental health since I was a small child.
I developed cfs/me in my teens but it wasnt diagnosed until I was 35.
My dad died at the end of last year and my life just seems to get harder. My anxiety is awful all the time. I put off todays test for a couple of months because of fear, mainly of the outcome.
I’ve always found internal examinations painful, as well as sex. I’ve seen drs about that too, and I can’t remember the name for it. Possible Vaginismus?
I found today painful even with the smaller speculum. I’m scared I’ll need further tests but i know HPV often clears up. My last sexual partner was 6 years ago so I know this strain was obviously lying dormant.

Anyway, thanks for having me!

Cheryl xxx

Hi Cheryl

Thank you for sharing your story. I know sharing back stories and positive news really helpful for my own personal circumstances.

Being a women really sucks sometimes. Just remember no matter how painful and unglamorous having internal exams are it beats running the risk of CC.

I completely get the anxiety and feels as I don’t think I can take much more personal exposure even if I know I am doing it for the right reasons.

Stay strong: you have this

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Hi there. Thank you so much. It’s just the pain that really makes me dread these types of exams. I’m trying to be logical though, this isn’t a test for cancer, so even if the cells have changed doesn’t mean it’s CC.

Hi Cheryl,
It can take so much courage showing up for yourself and getting the tests done. So celebrate that and just how brilliant you have been today. You should be so proud of yourself.
Justpeachythanks, I agree, being a woman just sucks sometimes! I have thought that so many times throughout my own journey too.
You got this girl x

Thank you so much!
I’m worried sick waiting for the results.

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