Hi guys, as you can see from my signature I am awaiting results of a LLETZ. I have been really busy in placement this past week since having it and so have been totally exhausted and slept quite well. However I was off yesterday and just could not sleep last night for worrying which is totally unlike me! I have a terrible feeling of 'dread' and feel like my heart is pounding. I know I am probably totally overeacting and my results will probably be fine but I feel like this waiting is making me ill!
I'm worrying as I haven't told my family anything and if my results do come back as cancer (which I know is unlikely) then I feel like I'm going to have to drop a huge bombshell on them as they have no idea about the abnormal smear etc. When I say family I mean my Dad and brother, my mum passed away 3 years ago and I would have of course told her all about it but I don't feel like I have a 'person' to talk to about all of this. My boyfriend is supportive but his best friend died of cancer the day before I had my smear test and so I don't really want to use that word around him at the moment as I am trying to protect him I guess. Only one of my other friends knows and again she has been really supportive but I feel like people will think I'm being completely irrational if I voice my true fears!
Sorry this is so long and I know there's nothing that's going to solve this until I get the results through but the thought of feeling like this for another 3 or more weeks is distressing me :(