Sick leave over, return to work... Yikes!!!


not posted for a while as not much new to tell really!

had 3 month check up just before Christmas and it was all a bit of a farce as dr was running nearly an hour late so was rushed in. Forgot to ask any of the questions I had, to tell him about aches and pains and even went home with urine sample still in my bag! Oh well. He had a good feel and a look. I have granulated scar tissue but otherwise he said all well. No bleeding.

at the mo I have a lot of lower back pain. Putting that down to not having daily long walks and lots of water over the Christmas break. Been drinking alcohol too!! Oh dear! am really swollen in groin area too and keep getting headaches. It's my body rebelling against my return to work...

I went into school for few odd days before Christmas then again for couple of days after school closed and am going in tomorrow but am back teaching on Monday... Gulp... Really really anxious about it all... Ofsted due soon as well. the class I have is very.... Challenging too so there's so much to do... Really could do without it. Am gonna give up the assistant head role, got to hand in letter on Monday... Not looking forward to the reaction over that. Would really like to work part time but finances will not allow. I'm sure it will all be ok once I'm there, but I can tell you ladies I'm gonna be a bag on nerves on Monday morning... No sleep for me on Sunday night!

any advice about taking this big big step will be gratefully received!! Anyone want to do it for me! Please!? Pretty please?

happy new year everyone! Good riddance to 2013, here's to a healthy 2014

dons xxx

Hi, i just wanted to leave a message wishing you well with your return back to work. It is still early days from major surgery, i wonder if you have considered a phased return to work? Hopefully all your colleagues and the head teacher will be supportive - good luck Sue

Colpolscopy for cin 3  lletz procedure (3/12/13) awaiting results


Good luck for your return to work!  I think you're very brave - the longer I am off work the less I want to return.  I've been off since October 2012!  My HR dept are fantastic, they have put no pressure on me whatsoever to return and have said when I do return it will be a phased return, they do not want me to over do it at the start.  My sick line runs out on 16 Jan but I'm considering taking a few more weeks off.  I've worked there for 31 years and I loved it so part of me thinks I  want to return.  However, I've been in for a visit a couple of times, looked at my empty desk with all my stuff still there, and I felt nothing - Like it was another life?  I have 'enjoyed' being off for the last few months after treatment ended, spending time with my family -something I didn't really do before I went off sick.  I've made a little routine for myself now and can fill my day quite happily doing not very much at all - and I like it!! 

Anyway - good luck on your return


Hi, I start my phased return this coming Wednesday and must admit I'm not looking forward to it one little bit!!  I had my rad hyst on 8th Oct and a 2nd op on 25th Oct (to clear collection/abscess/infection/lymphocyst) and wonder if I am going back too early.  Did run it past my consultant and he thought it OK.  I am going to do afternoons for 2 days this week, 4 days the following week and possibly the same the week after that before going full time.  It is a demanding job but luckily I can reasonably dictate the pace.  Will be wearing my soft jog bottoms though as they are the most comfortable thing I have - not office manager attire but hey, ho I don't really care!

I have been doing a few bits and bobs from home on the laptop so mentally feel semi prepared but not looking forward to leaving the comfort of my home.  Must admit this whole experience has really knocked my confidence and I feel a very different person.

Like you Dons I need to work, finances just won't allow me to pack it in or go part time so its hi ho, hi ho, its off to work we go!!!!  

Your job sounds really tough Dons and I take my hat off to you, it must be so difficult dealing with all that.

Will be so glad when we can all get back to some kind of normality.  Haven't our lives changed! So pleased I have come this far but will be even more pleased to get past the next few months and not feel so tired with swelly belly, groin and stabby pains!!

Wishing you all the very best for Monday Dons - will be thinking of you.  

Cheryl, xx

Hi Dons I went back to work 7 weeks after my op, I was working 3 days a week at the time and worked while having brachy. To be honest the first day or two were really tough, physically everything hurt but it was more emotionally hard. After the initial fuss everyone just expected me to get on with things as normal and I found that really hard. No-one seemed to appreciate how tough the whole experience had been, physically and emotionally. I walked home from work the first day in tears. But a few days in and it was actually very good for me. For the first time in months I would go several hours without thinking about the cancer as I was too busy working. In hindsight that was a good thing, it helped me move on.

You need to be really kind to yourself, you will be shattered for a while so forget about housework, cooking etc for a bit.

But as I approach my years anniversary of my op everything is very much back to normal.

Take care and good luck.

Ali x

Good luck monday:! You've come such a long way. Just accept the first week or two will be hard but it's another start in the rest of your life. I hope the head will be understanding and don't do too much. Better to be honest with yourself and your colleagues to get you through. I'll be thinking of you. Karen

Hi Dons

Was thinking of you this week, was wondering how yoiu were doing?? Hope you manage & everything goes ok, take it easy the beginning weeks, don't give your all otherwise they will expect it from you all the time! Ease into it  if posible! You (& a good few other ladies) gave me so much support & helped putting my fears aside those early weeks!! I had my surgery November 17th, and the swelling & puffiness in the groin area is doing my head in, just finished a course of antibiotics!! At least others are having it too, so don't feel so scared!! It's the lymphoedema that I'm worried about now- never finished with the worrying!! I have vault smear (that's what they call it when u got no cervix anymore) in March & every 3 months after that to check it hasn't spread!!!  






Thank you x

i know how you feel. I've just not missed it! after 6wk holidays and even after my maternity, I was really wanting to get back as I enjoy being with the kids so much, but this time it is all so different. Everything has changed. I've been in again today and I just seem to be swamped with paperwork already. It's not the job it was... 

I do enjoy my routine at home. Love spending so much time with my daughter. Hubby loves actually having a wife rather than someone who sits locked away in study all the time. Know what you mean about filling the days doing not too much quite happily. Mind you, it has put me in reach of biscuit barrel too many times and my bottom seems to be growing...

at least I'm only teaching in mornings then out catching up with lots of paperwork in the afternoons. It's the teaching part I love though! 

12 hours. Gulp! X

I think you've knocked the nail on the head- my confidence has gone. My faith in myself has crumbled, mentally and physically. Don't know if I can do the job well enough anymore. I was "an outstanding" teacher before all this so the pressure is on, especially as Ofsted is due... I haven't the energy to do what I was doing a few months ago. Or the enthusiasm.

its all changed hasn't it? Gulp... Must be my turn for the lottery win this week! If it is, I'll be in contact! We can become ladies of leisure ;-) x

Thanks x

i know what you mean, it's the expectations. The first couple of visits I made to school before Christmas, everyone was so attentive and happy to see me. Then the last couple of times, it was all so very normal with demands for paperwork to be done while I was there (even though wasn't officially there!!!) and I could already feel the stress and expectations. My biggest worry is that I know I don't have the energy to be as good as I was so I will be letting people down and feel a failure...

oh dear... Be positive. Be positive! Thanks for sharing xxx

Thank you matey xxx

im sure it will be fine... Sure it will be fine... Keep convincing myself!!! I know it took a long time to get back into it after my maternity leave a few years ago (I was off for 4 mths then) and I did find it extremely hard. I just hope it's not as bad as then. Just scared of failing... Expectations so high! X


thanks matey x yes not been on here like I was as been busy trying to get back to some kind or normality.

my swelling has seemed to returned the past couple of weeks... Urgh... The groin area seems actually quite tender with it, nerve endings must be coming back to life!! Feel bit better today as been out for 1 1/2 hr walks today and yesterday. Also managed to dance all night at a band last night, with no alcohol as well! Proud on myself on two counts there- staying on my feet for over two hours and saying no to wine and lager on a Saturday night in a pub. The belly is a lot bigger than it was, can't blame it on swelly belly forever but do still get it, can tell the difference. Confidence has taken a big knock every time in look in the mirror... And look so old!!! Crikey...

hope you're getting on ok otherwise! After your long, long wait for your op, to be 6-7 weeks post op is great x hope it's all healing well. Do take it easy though. When you pull yourself inside, it doesn't half hurt... Ouch! 


Thank you xxx

im sure it will be fine... 

Graduated return to work is that I teach in the mornings and do paperwork and catch up in the afternoons for first few weeks. Hopefully it will be ok and i have the energy to do it. That's the biggest problem, not having the speed and energy that I had a few months ago. Eeek! 


Oh Dons, what a pair we are - that's EXACTLY how I feel too!  I'm sure it will be better than we think its going to be - well, I hope it will be!!

Never thought I'd enjoy pottering around at home as much as I do, the days go so quick!  People say to me ' I guess you are bored' and I always respond ' well, no I'm not' which is not like me in the slightest.

It's a deal with the lottery!  If my numbers come up I'll be in touch!!

Good luck and hugs for tomorrow. Xx

Good luck going back! Take it steady and be honest with yourself and employer about how it's all going.

I'm making an application to work part time this week, really hoping they will let me. I've almost got up to full time, but over 9 months on I am really struggling with exhuastion and pain/discomfort from the op. Just need a bit of time to be able to get my body back in shape. I think really I went back too early so I'm a bit stuck in an 'almost healed' way but sitting at work all day makes it worse, so I've been in the same place recovery wise for months. I still can't tie my own shoe laces! So time to take some time back for myself I think.




Hi Jo,

bless you. I've been following your blog and you really have had a hard time. Applying for part time sounds like a good idea, I hope your boss goes for it- fingers crossed on that one for you.

thank you for your message. Good to be talking again to people who understand. Everyone just expects me to be back to normal now. Problem is, I don't feel normal.

have a good first Monday morning of the new year!


I'm going to miss pottering... And my long walks...


Hi Jo

Hope it goes well with your application to work part time, it really sounds like you need more recovery time.  You need to be kind to yourself and put your health and healing process as No 1 priority.

I don't know how I'm going to cope yet, fingers crossed it will be ok.  It really is a tough journey isn't it.

Take special care of yourself and good luck.

Hugs, xx

Hope this week has gone well for you. You have been in my thoughts x

I do too hope that you return to work went well! I started work in early December and it feels as if I have never been away...:) take good care of yourself! Xxx