Should I bother worrying my family at this early stage?

Hi. I am new to this (and is my first post). I am 35 and had my first smear test in about ten years in January (yes, I know....I should be ashamed of myself). My results came back within a week and I was referred for a colposcopy a couple of weeks later (i had it done 3 days ago). I was worried sick about the whole CIN 1, 2 and 3 thing as I did not know which I had. On the day of my appointment I was told I had CIN 3 (at the higher end of the CIN 3 scale). During the colposcopy I was told I had high grade cell changes so she did a LEETZ straight away and sent it off for testing (results in 3 to 4 weeks).

Now, my question is, i dont know how serious this all is. Before my colposcopy, I had myself convinced I was dying. Now after the LEETZ procedure, I have myself convinced that there is nothing wrong with me. My main concern is that I am not sure whether I should inform anyone of this (well, my boyfriend knows as he came with me to the appointment) but I am more thinking of my family (well, my mother in particular). I do not know whether any of this is even worth mentioning. I just feel really guilty when I visit her, knowing whats going on and she doesnt have a clue.

What do you guys think?


Im new to this and have just posted my first post . i have decided this time not to tell my family as they only worry and may cause you to worry more, i only tell them after my Leitz results come back. I have been through this a few times and now feel its best not to tell my family . i have told my husband and a few friends as you do need some support its a difficult time. The leetz procedure is usually very good and no further treatment is required. Unfortunately i havent been so lucky and keeps returning .

Hope all goes well for you xx

Damage limitation.

You need one person and only one, whom you trust and can confide in. If that's a super partner then that's perfect. If you don't have one of those then a really trusty non-hysterical friend or a sister. Mum should be a last resort in my opinion because it is extremely difficult for mothers not to worry about their daughters/fear that their daughters are going to die first etc. etc. and that is the last thing you need to have sitting beside you when you already have the waiting-for-results anxiety going on. Also, mother's who have difficulty dealing with it are the most likely to tell their best friend, and so it goes on all down the street. I didn't tell my mum until they said 'radical hysterectomy'.

I apologise for stereotyping.

Be lucky


Hi - personally, I only wanted my partner know what was going on. I figured there was no point worrying anyone else until i knew exactly what I was dealing with. From what I've read, it is quite common to have the LLETZ treatment there and then (both of mine were done on the spot so to speak). Once I got the clear from my second LLETZ, I did tell my sister and a couple of good girlfriends but it was more in the way of highlighting how important it is to go for regular smears xx 

I think it depends on the person.  How are you doing?  Are you coping well?  Your worry over your mum may be to your detriment and you have to prioritise yourself at the moment. 

I myself dont have a partner so I did tell my mum.  She has worried, cried but been behind me 100% and I now realise how important it was to have her involved at every step of my treatment.

I would never dream of telling a lady what to do but we are each individuals so just do whats right for you.

much love, Anna xx

Hi Anna Sparkles. Thanks for the reply. I am not sure how I am coping to be honest. When I got the abnormal smear result, that was the worst convinced myself, right, thats it, I left it so long between smears, that now I have cancer and am going to die. When I was told I had CIN 3 and had to have the LEETZ, I acted more like I was at the dentist and told I need a filling. Since then I have been bouncing between the two. So may people seem to have had the LEETZ procedure done, that i dont even know how serious it is and if it is worth mentioning at all (like would i feel the need to go round telling everybody I needed a, you just have it done and move on). 

I told my mother because she had actually been through all of this herself, so I knew she'd talk me through it rationally. But I could imagine her over-thinking it if she didn't know a lot about it herself. I purposely didn't tell anyone else because a lot of people overreact and worry, and I didn't want them to worry unless there was reason to. Its bad enough that we worry ourselves half to death waiting on appointments and results, I couldn't bear the thought of someone I care about worrying about me so much!

Kattykit, comparing any preventative cancer procedure to a filling may be correct in a physical sense but certainly not emotionally.  Its great that you have been so brave in getting the Letz done and I am sure that the results will be positive but this doesnt take away from the fear and uncertainty you are going through.  You must also stop blaming yourself as your tone suggests you are from missing smears.  Thats irrelivant and detrimental to your mental health.  You do NOT deserve this, it IS emotionally difficult and you WILL get through it!  That would make me want a hug from my mum.

I am a Stage 4 lady and the first thing I did upon getting that news was to book into see a councillor.  I still go once a week and I cannot overstate how important my mental wellbeing has been in my fight.  Do whatever you feel you need to do, there is no right and wrong but 100% the MOST important thing is to be KIND TO YOURSELF!

Always here to chat if you need to.

Anna xx

Hi KattyKit,

This is the one time you can be totally selfish and do what you feel. I told my husband and close family as my appointment fell over Christmas and quite frankly I was being very weird! After I found out I was ok, I told everyone who would listen to encourage them to all keep up to date with their smears! I was absolutely astonished how many came out of the woodwork to say that they had had cervical abnormalities too, it is so much more common than you think, but still very scary. I would tell people you are confident you can lean on for a cheery word or a glass of wine, or a bit of a distraction from the wait. 

Big hugs