Hi Everyone,
Hoping this is the right place to post. Was going to put in 'Relationships' forum but thought that was more for people going through different stages than me.
I actually had my LLETZ over 2 years ago and am only just now making the connection between that treatment and my complete loss of libido. I've been trying to work out what's behind it for so long, because it's been really affecting my LT relationship. He's very understanding of what I've been through but it's been difficult because I couldn't work out why I'd suddenly lost all interest in sex.
The timing totally adds up - I'm sure I lost my libido after the first couple times I had sex after LLETZ. The first few times I put it down to nerves and worrying if I'd get hurt and if it was safe but, since then, I actually dread sex and anything to do with it. It's become a total chore and not something I want to do at all. I just don't see myself as a sexual person anymore.
Of course, this is difficult because neither of us want me to do anything I don't want to do, so we end up just not having sex for weeks and months on end which is not at all what it was like before.
I know research into the sexual side effects of the procedure is really in its infancy, but it does seem to be plausible. I've seen a few people sharing their experience and saying they had similar effects to what I've described.
But I'm wondering if these are a few isolated cases or if lots of us have been going through this and maybe, like me, haven't made the connection? Can removing a few cells really alter me that much??
Also, I'm just realising how psychologically distressing it was for me to actually have all these procedures - smears, biopsies, LLETZ. At one point, I had 6 people in the room looking into my cervix and I was alone (apart from my hospital assigned chaperone who is still a stranger even if there to support). I sometimes have 'flashbacks' to feeling so vulnerable and I think I just detached a bit to get through it because I knew it had to be done.
Does anyone else have this experience? I'm wondering if that could also contribute to sexual side effects.
Any thoughts and experiences are appreciated!
Much love x