Sex post trachelectomy

Hello,

 

I'm sorry if this topic has already been covered but I was unable to find something that related specifically to my problem.

 

I had a radical trachelectomy February 2016 since then my partner and I haven't been intimate a huge amount of times because he's too scared of hurting me. When we do he says he finds it too difficult and hurts him (he even thinks my 'stitch' gave him a cut). I haven't been told I need to use a dilator or anything to help with this but have been trying to loosen things up a little to make it easier using a non clinical dialator! I'm just wondering if there is anything else I/we could be doing to try and make this better.

 

The problem with all of this is that I seem to have lost all confidence when it comes to sex and I struggle to initiate things with him, for the fear of being knocked back. Any help/advice/similar experiences would be much appreciated.

 

Thank you xxx

Hi there - sorry to hear about this.

Hope there are some ladies who can share their experiences!

I had a trach 28 April and haven't tried anything yet but must admit I am quite worried about it. I'll definitely share my experiences with you when we do try, maybe over private message ;-)

Take care, and good luck! xxx

Hi 

I didn't have the exact issue of my partner feeling the stitches but have read other people's posts before that mention this. I would say it was hard to begin with and for me everything felt tense etc. I would say 3/4 months after I was back to normal and mostly my sex life is back to how it was now. I have read others who have been able to go back to the the thread cut back so that there is a lesser risk of it cutting your partner. I think it all just takes time and it is normal to be nervous and self counscious for a while xx

Hi Sweetangel,

I understand where you are coming from. I had my trachelectomy at the end of January and my consultant said that sex was no-go until middle of May. Then, very randomly, in the middle of May I had an unexpected and unexplained bleed that lasted 14 days (I think it was a random and surprise period - my first in over a year). Whilst I was worried about what the bleeding was I have to also confess - part of me was glad that I had a valid excuse to not have sex.

He's currently off working abroad at the moment which again I'm a little relieved about (not because of him because I miss him terribly) but because it means putting off sex that little bit longer.

He is being incredibly patient and understanding but I know that we can't have a sexless life forever. Mine is now more psychological than anything and I think it's a little bit like anything- the longer I leave it the more difficult it will be!

I've heard about some men being able to 'feel the stitch' but I've also heard that it can be cut shorter if needed. You'll consultant should be able to do that for you.

I think your lack of confidence and your fear is completely understandable, you have been through a lot and you've had a lot of people messing around down there and even if your body is healed it doesn't mean that you are mentally ship shape.

I've read about some people going to see relationship therapists and those who have specialised in sexual concerns following surgeries so I don't know if that will help? Or even just chatting with a bit of reassurance might do the trick!

Am happy if you ever want to PM me to chat or ask questions.

xxxxx